Lovers and Lunatics

Normal guy Frank Potter is forced by his wife to join a local acting group. He enters a terrifying world of hefty thespians, impromptu drama, and crazy people. Mayhem and ambulances ensue. A large Russian woman also falls on top of someone from a great height. In another even more harrowing tale, Frank wants a quiet Thanksgiving, but his dreaded sister-in-law and her French film director husband visit from Beverly Hills. Hilarity occurs, followed by shocking violence, gophers and narrow escapes. In yet another startling story, Frank decides to build a swimming pool in his backyard. Mayhem ensues, followed by more mayhem and Apache Indians. Some people (who remain anonymous) claim this book is similar to Gone With the Wind, but without the South, Scarlet O'Hara, mint juleps, or anything else that happened in that book. Others say they just want a nice ham and cheese sandwich. And others, of course, will arrive for dinner on Tuesday. Lovers and Lunatics will have an enormous impact on your life, causing you to either give up your career of violent crime or to move to Peru, where you will encounter a mysterious clown named Manolo. Luscious, billowy, and bittersweetly hot, this book is destined to speak to you in deep, sonorous ways, sort of like how a blue whale would speak to you if it could speak English and could dial a cellphone, way down under the ocean, without electrocuting itself due to how water and batteries interact. This is assuming, of course, that the blue whale wants to speak with you. And he does.