Humor

You are my everything child, I wish I could explain. Unclench your teeth you little shit, here comes the choo choo train! follow the real life story of a little boy and his mother in this laugh out loud. rhyming story book.

FUN, DIRTY GAME FOR ANY BACHELORETTE PARTY!This fun Would You Rather game is specially designed for the bachelorette and her friends. You'll have tons of fun selecting from 32 questions and the two wild scenarios presented in this book. Play as a game: Read every question out loud.All ladies need to give their answers.If someone refuses to share their answer - there is a challenge insteadThis dirty version is filled with questions that won't go over well with sensitive ears, so player discretion is advised."Would you rather...?" is a fun game designed to make you choose between two difficult, equally ridiculous and often outrageous scenarios that you will never encounter in real life (hopefully anyway!). It's a great way to get to know each other better and start some really interesting conversations."Would You Rather...? Dirty Edition" is great for: adult girls party game - awesome discussion questions to turn a boring party aroundany bridal shower, bachelorette partylong road trips or as a camping game!SPECIFICATIONS: 66 pages - 32 "would you rather...?" questions + 32 challengesdimensions 6'x9'matte coverwhite paper paperback - please do not expect hardcover

First of all Sun is not female! Female only takes and takes and leaves you when you have nothing to give. But Sun gives and gives without any expectation and accompanies you till your death. People plant trees, not flowers! Why should only ladies have all the fun by writing whining poetries showing males as mean creatures and women as fairies? Why should not male also have some poetry fun?

What makes you bad-mannered? Do you want to see people being rude and unrefined? Or see folks being discourteous, impertinent, uncouth, brazen, raunchy, loutish, churlish, boorish, ungracious, cheeky, impudent, impolite, insolent, loud-mouthed, coarse, tacky, vulgar, bawdy, cheap, disrespectful, ill-bred, rough, charmless, indelicate, graceless, insipid, sophomoric, undignified, crummy, chintzy, inferior, uncultured, barbaric, tasteless, cheesy, or gross? Do you need a guide to bad manners for men and for women? Are you disturbed by images of international urination? What is Action Yoga? Is it for you? Does the idea of cocktail poetry excite you? Do you hunger for "art" from the New Century Dada movement? Is it a dog-eat-dog world? Especially for cats? Would you like statistical evidence on the incidence of party manner fouls? Can you find all the differences? Are you interested in terrible recipes and menus? Do you want to train for America's number one career choices? Do you want to see some party time mischief? Can you be a bar bet winner? How do you know when you're having a bad day? Do you need dozens of new names for ugly or disagreeable babies? Are you passionate about untrue defamatory factoids? What does Detective Trixie have to say? What about hot dogs? Do you enjoy flamboyant emotional display? Don't you want to see Dada-based automatic pictures, visual poetry, and cocktails? Have you seen nor smelled no evil? If you like your books with a high picture-to-text ratio (if you know what we mean), then get this miscellaneous mixture of cocktails, photo mash-ups, silly factoids, and emotion-laden drinking. In spite of bad-mannered mobs of relatives and literary agents, Mug and Mali gave birth to this new volume of odorous miscellany. Readers will find the miscellany startling and the cocktails addicting - and vice-versa. "Mug & Mali's Big Book of Bad Manners" is impudent, yet sophomoric, over-shadowing such lesser works as, "How To Lick Salt" and "Do Trousers Matter?" It's another piece of work that will keep you up nights reading and drinking. Enjoy!

would you call his mainspring?' he asked. -'The desire to win money and its power. Mind you, I wouldn't call that a high motive, but in a young man it's a kind of a mainspring that sets him a-going and keeps the works busy until he can get better motive power. In Harry it's broken.' -'You're right--it was busted long ago, ' said Henry Delance. -'Some one has got to contrive a new mainspring for the sons of millionaires--they're so plenty these days.' -'There's the desire to be respectable, ' he suggested. -'But it is not nearly so universal as the love of money. If it were possible to have millionaire carpenters and shoemakers there'd be more hope! But I'll try to invent a mainspring for Harry. If he doesn't marry some fool woman there's a chance for the boy--a good chance. Tell me all about him.' -In his own way, which amused me a little, the old man sketched the character of his son, or rather confessed it. -'A kind of Alexander the Great, ' he said. 'We shall

Get ready to split a rib laughing while reading this collection of newspaper columns celebrating the everyday people in Johnstown, Penna. Michele Mikesic Bender is the region's undisputed "Geezer Laureate." Her entertaining writing style, quick wit, raw humor, and incredible memory of the colorful people who decorated her life are guaranteed to satisfy the most demanding reader. She is the first and last source for nostalgia in Pennsylvania's legendary "Flood City." And she's a bit crazy to boot. You won't be able to put her book down.

What happens when a farmer who's been wishing for a boy ends up with a girlie-girl? Come along on the humorous and sometimes agonizing adventures from a childhood spent on a farm in the Eastern Oregon desert where one family raised hay, wheat, cattle, and a farm girl.

This book follows two woman as they troll a dating site in search of "the one". Their experiences will leave you both horrified, and howling with laughter. It's sex and the city without the nice shoes. If you've ever been on a dating site, are thinking about joining one, or want to have a few laughs at the authors expense this book is for you. It's all true, raunchy, insane and hilarious.

When my dear friend, Tippi Hedren, suggested I compile a book about my comical capers involving medical mishaps I thought long and hard about it. Sure, I had many funny stories to tell but it seemed a bit to "me me"... to me. However, when word started spreading about my plans, so many people wanted to contribute that the project suddenly snowballed into something not only larger but truly heart-warming. So many people wanted to share their stories to inspire and amuse others that I was absolutely amazed! What follows are those stories, in the words of the patients, interspersed with my own dissertations in comic verse and a few jokes too good to omit. A huge THANK YOU to everyone who contributed their very personal stories. May the generosity of your spirit to inspire others be revisited on you ten-fold! I hope you have as much fun reading this little book as I had compiling it. I also hope the contents tickle the desired funny bone of the special person in your life who you would like to see smile.

500 mistakes from 50 more fan-favourite TV shows, many with pictures. Mic transmitters visible in Breaking Bad, crash mats in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a necklace appearing from nowhere in Friends, and bandages disappearing in Grey's Anatomy. Mistakes aplenty in The Big Bang Theory, Cheers, Doctor Who, Downton Abbey, Family Guy, I Love Lucy, Knight Rider, Prison Break, Seinfeld, Sherlock, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Two and a Half Men, The Walking Dead, and many more. You'll be amazed what you've missed in some of your favourite shows!

The Importance of Being Earnest is a classic comedy of manners in which two flippant young men, in order to impress their respected beloveds, pretend that their names are "Ernest," which both young ladies believe confers magical qualities on the possessor. It was first performed for the public on February 14, 1895 at the St. James' Theatre in London, and is regarded by many critics and scholars as being the wittiest play in the English language.

This scarce antiquarian book is a facsimile reprint of the original. Due to its age, it may contain imperfections such as marks, notations, marginalia and flawed pages. Because we believe this work is culturally important, we have made it available as part of our commitment for protecting, preserving, and promoting the world's literature in affordable, high quality, modern editions that are true to the original work.

Diane Seal Allen began to suspect she was in trouble when son number three arrived. When son number four came along, she was convinced of it. Son number five showed up just to put the icing on a cake made of chaos. In an admittedly desperate attempt to impose some order on her life, Diane kept lists. Not grocery lists or to-do lists-no, Diane kept lists of things concerning her family, such as things she never thought she'd hear herself say ("It's hard to enjoy a dead gerbil"), questions her sons asked ("Which one is both of these?"), and inappropriate topics for dinner debate (whether spitting is a bodily function or entertainment). These are lists any parent can look at and think, "Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, and cleaned up the mess." Diane's lists are hilariously honest and surprisingly poignant. Her lists are memories of times long gone when the five accomplished young men she raised argued over what was lying squished in the road and thought turning off the light was considered an acceptable way to clean the kitchen.

A short-story humor book for adults and children!

Get ready to LOL your way through "Sweary Memes," the adult coloring book that's jam-packed with cheese, cliche memes and a whole bunch of swear words. It's time to dive into the hilarious world of internet humor, with a colorful twist that's as cheeky as it gets!Inside this sweary adult coloring book you'll discover a bunch of side-splitting memes, each sprinkled with a bit of grown-up language for that extra kick of humor. Grab your crayons or markers, and let your creative side loose as you bring these viral moments to life. It's the perfect recipe for turning your favorite memes into a masterpiece of colorful and swear-filled hilarity.Whether you're a meme addict or just someone who loves a good chuckle, "Sweary Memes" is here for you. Share the laughs with friends, give it as a quirky gift, or show off your finished masterpieces as a tribute to your humor and coloring skills. It's time to add a pop of color to those viral moments, one swear word at a time. "Sweary Memes" isn't just a coloring book; it's your ticket to a hilarious world of coloring fun. So sit back, relax, and color! *** This book is also available in a color by number edition!https: //www.amazon.com/dp/1985649284Charming hand-drawn designs inspire coloring fans of all ages and skill levels.Promotes relaxation, art therapy, and the scientifically proven therapeutic benefits of meditative mindfulness.Makes a perfect gift for adults, teens, seniors, and all of your loved ones.8.5 x 11" single-sided paper means that you can use your favorite art supplies - including pencils, markers, pens, crayons, watercolors and more!2 bonus color test pages allow you to test your coloring mediums and empower you to unleash your creativity and plan your next coloring masterpiece.Enjoy FREE BONUS COLORING PAGES to get a taste of other coloring books you may enjoy.

This scarce antiquarian book is a selection from Kessinger Publishing's Legacy Reprint Series. Due to its age, it may contain imperfections such as marks, notations, marginalia and flawed pages. Because we believe this work is culturally important, we have made it available as part of our commitment to protecting, preserving, and promoting the world's literature. Kessinger Publishing is the place to find hundreds of thousands of rare and hard-to-find books with something of interest for everyone!

The Colonel Mulberry Sellers here re-introduced to the public is the same person who appeared as Eschol Sellers in the first edition of the tale entitled "The Gilded Age," years ago, and as Beriah Sellers in the subsequent editions of the same book, and finally as Mulberry Sellers in the drama played afterward by John T. Raymond. The name was changed from Eschol to Beriah to accommodate an Eschol Sellers who rose up out of the vasty deeps of uncharted space and preferred his request-backed by threat of a libel suit-then went his way appeased, and came no more. In the play Beriah had to be dropped to satisfy another member of the race, and Mulberry was substituted in the hope that the objectors would be tired by that time and let it pass unchallenged. So far it has occupied the field in peace; therefore we chance it again, feeling reasonably safe, this time, under shelter of the statute of limitations.

"Life Lessons Learned from Dogs who Always Speak from the Heart." The World According to Dog answers many questions about why dogs do what they do. These heart-warming tales illuminate the perennial love of dogs and their fierce alliance to us; despite our frailties. Through the eyes and heart of a dog, we can learn how to be less human and more humane.This book offers the reader so much more than a collection of funny heartfelt stories.Woven within the pages are revelations drawn from scientists and animal behaviorists alike with entertaining ideas and tips for improving your personal human-dog relationship. Included are special coupon offers and useful guides for every reader's benefit.There's a hidden treasure inside each dog, waiting to be unlocked through inspired listening to their unique language. Discover other hidden surprises inside this one-of-a-kind book geared for the human who wants to be the best dog owner they can be. Tori Levitt is the owner of Doolittle's Doghouse, a company of loving pet "nannies" with a corporate commitment to pampered pet care in a cage-free environment. The World According to Dog is her contribution to animal lovers worldwide.

The world is crazy about zombies! And who doesn't love a good joke? JoJo SanDeigo and Jerry Corley have created the perfect combination of 301 Original Drop Dead funny zombie jokes. Inspired to write another zombie book after the completion of Mother Ghoul's Zombie Nursery Rhymes, because just like the rest of the world they have gone Zombie Crazy! It's the ultimate clean joke book! Jokes for boys, jokes for girls, jokes for teens, Halloween jokes, and even some jokes for adults.

Follow Ben through a typical day in Louisiana...maybe. What starts out as normal, soon becomes a surreal and twisted version of Louisiana that only author Jaymes Brown could imagine.

Want to be in the know when it comes to sex? If you do, and who doesn't, then Sex - A to Z is the perfect book for you. It's a collection of lewd terms, dirty words, and sex stuff both real and fabricated, that once read could make you feel positively scholarly when it comes to the topic of Sex. The book has no literary value whatsoever; it's just downright silly and smutty. 'Sex - A to Z' has the A to Z on all kinds of kinkiness you probably never knew existed. There isn't one thing about the book that is educational, truly informative or real, although I'm quite sure there are actually folks out there who like to rub up against a cuddly stuffed teddy bear before getting their sexy on. Who wouldn't? 'Sex - A to Z' is easy to follow, and can be picked up and put down at random, with no worry about losing the gist of the book. The gist is quite apparent in every sentence. It is the ultimate in bad taste, and unladylike behavior, and there's nothing wrong with a little unladylike behavior. Am I right or am I right?

A collection of memorable, humorous and quotable stories, off-beat with a cool tempo, combining British eccentricity with universal comedy. A gem of an anthology.

Bill the Bloodhound -- Extricating Young Gussie -- Wilton's Holiday -- The Mixer (I) -- The Mixer (II) -- Crowned Heads -- At Geisenheimer's -- The Making of Mac's -- One Touch of Nature -- Black for Luck -- The Romance of an Ugly Policeman -- A Sea of Troubles -- The Man with Two Left Feet.

Just a silly read of short stories and other things to pass the time while you're in a waiting room or the bathroom.

The Supers is about ordinary people that are super good at one thing and use that ability to solve problems.... and sometimes create them!

Love ... Who needs it?I don't know if this just comes with age or what, but I'm less patient with my relationships, when I should probably be more patient. The first sign of any drama, no matter how sexually starved I happen to be, and I lose her number. Perhaps this makes me unpopular with the ladies. Maybe I'm getting a reputation.MehWhat I am hoping is that by reading my take on the whole mating game, you'll have a better appreciation for whatever predicament you're in, be that anything between marital bliss and been lovin' your fist.Karma Kicked MeSure, I'm bitter sometimes. Aren't you? How many times do you let karma kick you before you become jaded like me, and begin to expect it? So, you're pissed. He dumps you for a skank-hole. Go ahead and be hurt--that's natural. It's an ego slap. As you get older, you'll begin to take these more in stride. Sure, you'll complain about it to a friend, relative, or co-worker, but you'll get over it.Look at this book as my way of getting over it. A collection of irreverent, sarcastic, vulgar, crude, whatever-you-call-it essays containing my odd perception of life, which might actually lower my blood pressure by writing, and generate a giggle or two for the reader.WARNING: F-Word Used Over 160 TimesBefore we go any further, let me warn you that I love to cuss. F-ing love it. You're going to read plenty of bad words, so reading aloud is strongly discouraged, unless you're in church.Also, since I have taken certain liberties with our language, and I am a bit whiny and insensitive, I've decided to enhance this tome with--drum roll, please--recipes!Yay, Recipes!Cheers, my dears.

Story about how taking the appropirate path leads to the appropriate destination. Contains some shit about a new birth control pill, some random weirdo that wants to walk to Iceland, the best drummer in history refusing to play for money, and personal/sexual relations with bitter old hags... all the while talking some bullshit about revolution and abolishing the free market system. Can be quite humorous at times. Also stars a horse, a raccoon, and an anteater. Extreme left-wing Anarchist crap that will probably get you red flagged for reading it.

Welcome to a whimsical world where cats rule with their paw-some antics and hilarious hijinks! In this captivating picture book, prepare to be whisked away on a time-traveling adventure as we discover a secret that cats have kept hidden from us humans for centuries. Brace yourselves, for it's time to witness the feline kingdom taking the spotlight in the grandest moments of history! So, grab your favorite feather toy, curl up in your comfiest spot, and get ready for a purr-fectly hilarious adventure through time with "It's a Cat's World" Meow-some surprises and laughter await on every page as we discover what it would be like if cats imitated humans throughout history.