Humor

Contains an approximation for the value of the number known at "pi" -- using about 100 pages! It's a goofy novelty book, and it should be noted that your phone number is probably listed somewhere inside! The book contains all of your favorite digits from 0 to 9, including 4, 7 and 8! As a bonus, the fact that it covers only one topic means that no annoying index is needed. This and other books by the same author are available at ApplecreekBooks.weebly.com.

Die urkomische Geschichte eines Mannes, namens Kevin Müller, dem es gelang, trotz strenger Erziehung und fehlenden Multimedia-Gadgets sein Leben zu überleben. Ein Kreuzzug durch fast 40 Jahre des alten Jahrtausend.

This scarce antiquarian book is included in our special Legacy Reprint Series. In the interest of creating a more extensive selection of rare historical book reprints, we have chosen to reproduce this title even though it may possibly have occasional imperfections such as missing and blurred pages, missing text, poor pictures, markings, dark backgrounds and other reproduction issues beyond our control. Because this work is culturally important, we have made it available as a part of our commitment to protecting, preserving and promoting the world's literature.

Wanna see if we have the age you are looking for on any of our birthday books? Just search the words level up designs + the age you are looking for + birthday, for example: level up designs 18th birthday.This large print internet password organizer makes the perfect birthday gift! People of all ages need a way to keep and organize all those hard to remember website usernames and passwords. After all, there is nothing more irritating than trying to log into a website and getting that lovely message, "Incorrect Username or Password." UGH! With this book that will be a problem no more.The first page of the book features space for up to 5 wireless networks along with their locations and passwords. This book also features space to list 288 internet accounts including: Account/Website NameUsernamePasswordEmailPin CodeSecurity QuestionOther features include: Pages are in alphabetical order.Nice wide lines with plenty of space to write.A large book size of 8 1/2" x 11" so it can be easily found.Search "Level Up Designs Happy Birthday Books" or click on our name above and check out our wide variety of awesome birthday books.

Phone Losers of America is a collection of short stories which take you on a twenty year journey of high-tech humor, culture jamming, and criminal mischief. From remotely controlling the overhead paging system of a large supermarket, to confusing the phone company with various call forwarding stunts, this bizarre collection of pranks will not only make you laugh, but will make you question the security and sanity of common, everyday business procedures. Learn how one illustrious member of the PLA crossed the country on stolen credit cards, staying in the nicest hotels one day and then sleeping on the streets of major cities the next, all while amusing himself at the expense of others. Laugh as he turns a radio morning show into his own interactive game, enrages users of an online auction site, uses revenge tactics that cross the line, systematically drives convenience store employees nuts so that he can get a job, and confuses an entire neighborhood of cordless phone users. The stories contained in this book are based on the writings from the Phone Losers of America website which have been featured in USA Today, the Boston Herald, 2600, on CNBC, CNN, TechTV, and countless other websites, books, magazines, radio shows and police reports.

When you look at the title of this book you may think, "This guy is just a sad, jilted lover." But that couldn't be further from the truth! I am about as much of a hopeless romantic as they come and I date readily in hopes of finding that special someone!Sadly however, I've had the whole gammit happen to me during my ongoing dating life: dumped, cheated-on, friend-zoned, heart-broken, ghosted, frustrated, etc. and I'm sure that if you're reading this, you can probably say the same. I think we can both agree, it sucks.As these things were happening to me, I started to share my dating woes with my friends and family on social media using the hashtag: #TheSearchContinues. Those posts IMMEDIATELY became my most popular (and at times controversial) posts garnering thousands of likes and comments. It was then that I realized that no matter who you are, we can all agree that dating is an integral part of the human experience and that, a lot of the time, dating sucks.The purpose of this book is to let YOU know that even though your love life may feel completely hopeless, it really could be worse. As a great movie once said, sometimes we have 'to laugh just to keep from weeping.'This book is perfect for use as a bathroom reader, a coffee table book, in a waiting room, for stories around the campfire, and more! Let's help everyone to realize that even though "Dating Sucks, It Could Be Worse."

A fun read for dog lovers! Have you ever wondered what ends up on the cutting room floor when watching celebrity dog trainers on the television? During her career as a professional dog trainer and canine behaviourist, Karen Davison has been battered, flattened, tied up in knots and found herself in some funny, strange and painful situations.Here she shares some of the more memorable moments of her journey, including some 'you couldn't make it up' moments!

Getting old is definitely not easy. How do we feel when we retire, our bodies begin to fail, and we live in a 55+ community? This is a humorous look at life after retirement. There are challenges and changes, but most of all it is a time to think about all that we have accomplished, and all the plans we still have for the future.

In Crome Yellow, Huxley satirises the fads and fashions of the time. It is the witty story of a house party at "Crome" (a lightly veiled reference to Garsington Manor, a house where authors such as Huxley and T. S. Eliot used to gather and write). We hear the history of the house from Henry Wimbush, its owner and self-appointed historian; apocalypse is prophesied, virginity is lost, and inspirational aphorisms are gained in a trance. Our hero, Denis Stone, tries to capture it all in poetry and is disappointed in love.

Welcome to the Wacky World of Botanical Beasts (and Friends!) A place where ordinary meets extra-ordinary!Take a journey through my imagination and meet some creatures of Whimsy! This book is single sided with varying degrees of incatricity and details to ensure fun is had by all!Secret Word: "Me"

In a dystopian parallel world, Oxfordshire Police have a hopeless drunk and an over worked Geordie novice, working on crime solving mysteries, along with a cast of shady characters in the force, and very dodgy residents, their families, pets, and gardens. Anarchy alcoholic fug and rude words abound "What were you doing the night he died?"Fetch suddenly lost his composure, and looked shiftily round at both officers."I'd, err, rather not say, Sir" He fiddled nervously with a fiddle he'd picked off the floor.As the lilting strains of The Magic Flute filled the room, Harris saw his chance."Mr Fetch, we need to know exactly where you were""I was in the upstairs lavatory," He squirmed"There's nothing embarrassing about that Mr Fetch, we all have to go y'kna""You don't understand, Sergeant Harris, It was very odd. I needed to do number two's, and I did, successfully...""Successfully?""I keep a log, a record of my stools, just a hobby, you know"Harris felt an urge to retch, "So what was so odd about this particular occasion?""I always check the pan afterwards, for size, number, consistency, you know""Aye ok... and?""And there was nothing there, the pan was empty... so, at the time of the murder I had my hand round the U bend searching for my missing turds""Let me get this straight Mr Fetch, are you saying you can't account for your movements on the night in question?"1. SINS OF THE FEATHERS Left alone with Inspector Morose, Robbie Harris prays for a good murder and promptly gets one in the shape of their local MP. Grilling the entire household, it becomes apparent, that all is not as it should be. Anywhere. But at least there's a full drinks cabinet. 2. MORONIC MYSTERIES An attempt is made on Inspector Morose's life. Sadly it fails, and a guard is set on him as it becomes apparent that a cop killer is out for revenge as is Mrs Harris's bank manager. As Morose begins to recognise familiar patterns in the killers' modus operandi the chase is on. 3. CHERUBIM AND TURPENTINE A missing schoolgirl turns up at the police station and attempts to out-drink Inspector Morose. Modern beat combo music is singled out, as no-one can think of anything else to blame today's disaffected youth on. Daily Mail readers will love it. 4. LAST SEEN SWEARING Morose vanishes on a bender, around the same time as a public school teenager vanishes from the planet. While a trail of bodies and frustrated teachers builds up an off licence is trashed to jolly things - and Morose - up, and Newcastle United visit for some light relief. 5. GEEKS BEARING GIFTS Oxfords' Geordie-Greek community is being culled for reasons unknown. Mrs Harris has a go at culling the bank staff and celebrities start culling each other, while the big chief gets too big headed for his own good. 6. DRIVEN TO DESTRUCTION While Mrs Harris starts a new job, Morose is trying to frame a used-car dealer for random murders. Robbie Harris feels Morose is barking up the wrong tree. A specialist in violence against women feels Morose is just barking. Mindless violence & homicides follow. Follow Morose on Facebook

Gilbert Keith Chesterton, better known as G.K. Chesterton, was an English writer. He wrote on philosophy, ontology, poetry, plays, journalism, public lectures and debates, literary and art criticism, biography, Christian apologetics, and fiction, including fantasy and detective fiction. Chesterton is often referred to as the "prince of paradox." Time magazine, in a review of a biography of Chesterton, observed of his writing style: "Whenever possible Chesterton made his points with popular sayings, proverbs, allegories-first carefully turning them inside out." -wikipedia

This adult book is filled with funny jokes, tall tales, true stories, and cartoons. We start with jokes that are great to tell children. Then we grow into teen humor, until we hit full laugh with adult humor. In this book you will find some old favorites and learn lots of new jokes. Some are great for work meetings, others are for poker games or bars. There are jokes for all occasions.If you have ever been offended by an off color joke, don't read the chapter of jokes that my wife has forbidden me to ever tell again. (And maybe other parts too. The kids joke chapter is safe.)Laughter is good for you... So start taking better care of yourself, a friend, or a loved one. Laughter is good medicine.If you have trouble telling jokes I have also added a few tips on how to "play" the audience. Jokes are great icebreakers useful in all parts of our lives. Teachers, clergy, and salespeople can set the feeling in the room with the right joke.Table Of Contents1. Jokes to tell to kids (Rated G)My intent with this section is to offer jokes adults can tell to children. I hope you enjoy watching them laugh. When telling jokes to kids it is best to oversell the punch line. Large gestures and big smiles let kids get into the moment. 2. Back talk jokes great for teens (PG13)When I was a kid, when TV was black and white, and kids would use one-upmanship to win power on the playground, the world was simpler. A little wit and fast talk ruled. The worst thing you could do was to demean someone's mother, so... a lot of effort was put into attacking someone's mother with style. 3. Jokes you should never tell childrenI do not believe in censorship except on a personal level. I don't want a government telling anybody what they can or cannot read. However, if locker room talk isn't funny to you, please stop reading now. If you have ever been offended please do not read any further. 4. Tall talesThese are tall tall tales, but fun. 5. True storiesIt is often stated, "truth is stranger than fiction." This section proves that saying to be true. Most of these stories happened to me and my family. The rest happened to patients, friends or colleagues. I'll tell you which are which, but when it comes to patients, friends and colleagues I have changed the names to protect their ids, egos, and in some cases super egos. 6. Jokes my wife forbade me from telling againMy bride of almost 25 years tends to have a good sense of humor. Most of the time she puts up with my jokes and antics. On a few occasions she has even participated with my practical jokes.On a rare occasion, when I tell a joke that she perceives as tawdry, she will call me by my complete first name, "Philip!" and indicate with a look of motherly distain how disappointed she is in my choices. I assume she expects me to refrain from telling the offending joke again. 7. In closing, my favorite jokesI am constantly asked what is my favorite joke. This is a tough question because it depends on my mood and the audience. Please don't judge me too harshly, but here are my favorite jokes. 8. Encore CartoonsA look inside the mind of a shrink.

Wichtig: Dieses Buch ist für Bayern UND Nichtbayern gleichermaßen geschaffen und lesbar! Glauben Sie niemand! Diese Veröffentlichung ist NICHT frauenfeindlich, NICHT preußenunfreundlich, NICHT für Kinder und Jugendliche nicht geeignet und NICHT erzieherisch nicht zu empfehlen. DENN es ist ein perfektes Geschenk! Bestimmt kennen Sie jemand, den Sie nicht leiden können. HIER liegt Ihre Chance. Schenken Sie dieses Buch Ihrem liebsten Feind - sie werden lange nichts mehr von ihm hören.Natürlich können Sie dieses Buch auch jemandem schenken, den Sie gerne haben; der Effekt ist allerdings derselbe. Darum: Verschenken Sie dieses Buch an Menschen, a) die Sie nicht leiden können b) die es nicht besser verdienen c) die keinen eBook-Reader besitzen Haben Sie einfach Spaß am Lesen - Ihr Alois Hintermoser;-)

Come join me in the adventures of my friends who live out behind the clothes line, the area of the back yard where the vegetable garden and hen house are located. Experience with us the lives of chickens from hatching to laying eggs, and numerous adventures in between.

A satirical view of the madness that surrounds IT project management in the 21st century. Imagine a company where they combine widely different methodologies, introduce complex stage-gates, hold really expensive offsite meetings and demand the skills of a rugby scrum coach. No wonder everyone needs to be "Agile". Sound familiar?Effie is thrown into this world by chance and she collects a motley team of misfits around her as she navigates the confusion, subterfuge and downright lies that go into setting up and governing a modern I.T. Project.In the process she uncovers a devious and corrupt plot to implode the iconic construction company she works for and sell off its worthless assets while ruining the working lives of all her friends. During the roller-coaster ride of twists and turns she also finds that truth, love and common sense are all you need - well almost! At least they seem more useful than a Powerpoint deck, a 'stand-up' wall and a bunch of architects.

Psychic Pancakes and Communion Pizza is Bert Montgomery's highly anticipated follow-up to Elvis, Willie, Jesus & Me. Containing reflections on music, film, culture, and life, one can find Jesus (and sometimes even the Church!) in the midst of it all. The book is firmly rooted in time and place-a 21st-century university town in the South-yet ventures into a varying array of topics and subjects; everything from Hurricane Katrina to the Super Bowl Saints, from Ellen DeGeneres to Charlie Manson, and from suicide to salvation. And, there's a little more Elvis and Willie thrown in for good measure!

Over 800 jokes in the Hilarious Book "Return of Comic on the Corner".We know you will enjoy the one liners, jokes, and insults collected in the book " Return of Comic on the Corner". This joke book is filled with good clean humor. By reading this book, you will be an ambassador of fun, a Comic on the Corner.

Simply Circus is a collection of humor and artwork dedicated to all things CIRCUS! If you're a fan or practitioner of the trapeze, aerial hoop and fabric, handstands or contortion, you will enjoy this book from cover to cover. Guaranteed to make you smile and leave you feeling inspired.

A family crisis brings Travis Casey back to the land he used to call home after living in England for the past two decades. His parents need him - not as a career as he expected, but as someone to drive them from Florida back to their home in Minnesota. Just as well; he's not a caring person, but he is a damn good driver.But the country is not how he left it...Casey uses his own brand of humor to explore what has changed in America since he lived there - that's when he's not recounting the chaos that occurs as he attempts to reestablish himself as an American. He discovers that entering the United States with his British wife is more difficult than he had anticipated. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. --Chinese ProverbA journey of seven thousand miles begins with a trip to the US Embassy-- Travis Casey Experience

Foreword Even the best stand-up comic cannot recall jokes. This joke book is necessary codigo or guide to recall jokes handily. Jokes are for all occasions and for all people in all walks of life. Jokes remove cares and concerns. They make you forget your problems. People who tell jokes become the life of the party. Anybody for that matter can become a comic by just reading from this book in front of an audience. Actually, these jokes are recycled or modified jokes retold many times in the past and openly distributed in the internet. Jokes are sometimes hard to recall. This is a tribute to all writers and composers of jokes to make the world a better place to live in. This book is free to read online. Just email your request. These jokes are recorded for posterity and nothing else. "Wear a Smile. It's neat and attracts attention! It increases your face-value." "You don't stop laughing because you grow old. "You grow old because you stop laughing." ooooo Contact; job_elizes@yahoo.com Websites: http: www.tinyurl.com/mj76ccq + www.jobelizes6.wix.com/mysite + + + + + SAMPLE JOKES: ABC's in life My wife asked me to describe her. I said: "You're A B C D E F G H I J K." She said: "What's that mean?" I said: "Adorable Beautiful Cute Delightful Elegant Foxy Gorgeous Hot." She said: "Ooohh that's so lovely - but what about I J K?" I said: "I'm. Just. Kidding." Ako Mismo Mga kababayan, ito ang reclamo ko: Alisin ang socialismo Alisin ang communismo Alisin ang despotismo Alisin ang consumerismo Alisin ang egotismo Alisin ang generalismo Ngayon, meron ng solucion, ako mismo. Almost Everytime A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?" "Oh, it was beautiful," says the man. "The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we. . ." His friend interrupts him. "A man your age! How did you make love almost every night?" "Oh," says the man, "we almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..." Anesthesia A husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, his wife was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful." Flattered, she continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You're cute." "What happened to 'beautiful'?" she asked him. "The drugs are wearing off" he replied Anger Management * A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her." * One of his friends asked. "And when you are angry, what do you do?" * The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back. Appendicitis (kunwari) Sexy GF: Honey, gusto mo bang makita kung saan ako inoperahan ng appendicitis (to excite the BF). Tangang BF: Ayoko, hindi ako mahilig mamasyal at pumunta sa mga hospital.

America, the land of the free and home of the brave. Every time you hear america you think F*** Yeah... Have fun coloring in these patriotic images, bringing uncle sam to life. Have fun.

Presenting a collection of 26 poetries to "Make American Poetry Great Again". Each poetry will tickle your funny bones, you may start jumping up and down in mad rush of laughter. Please read this poetry aloud to your friends and foes. Do not read these poetry while driving car, it may laugh madly and move to the opposite moving lane.

Mug & Mali set out to turn the lens of Dadaism on the impact of the 7 Deadly Sins on the 21st Century. Unfortunately, somewhere in between Gluttony and Lust they became extremely distracted, and produced another Miscellany full of semi-related articles, like ridiculous factoids; clarified malapropisms; puzzles such as Find the Differences and Fill In the Missing Finger; tongue twisters; illustrated diner jargon; rants from Chairman Mug; excerpts from Mug & Mali's collection of Illustrated Classics (Finnegans Wake, The Importance of Being Earnest, Works of Edgar Allen Poe, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Aesop's Fables, The Brothers' Grimm Fairy Tales, The Devil's Dictionary, Right Ho Jeeves, and Dante's Divine Comedy: Inferno); auto-generated artifacts in the Dada tradition (poetry, cocktail recipes, collages, recipes, jokes, and heavy metal band names); emotion-laden prints; eggcorns; ideas for up-and-coming American career choices; and, of course, articles about Wrath, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, and Pride. If you like your books sophomoric with a high picture-to-text ratio (if you know what we mean), then get this miscellaneous hodge-podge of cocktails, photo mash-ups, silly factoids, rude jokes, and emotion-laden drinking. This book is a work of puerile satire and is not affiliated with the more famous series of books written for Idiots and Dummies. In spite of the menace posed by hoards of lunatic literary agents, Mug and Mali announced this new disagreeable collection of crud. Readers will find the miscellany bewildering and the cocktails addicting - and vice-versa. "The Complete Imbecile's Guide to The 7 Deadly Sins for Dimwits" is sophomoric, yet uncouth, up-staging such lesser works as, "How to Moon Improperly!" and "Do Trousers Matter?" It's another piece of work that will keep you up nights reading and drinking. Enjoy!

Rawan is a very beautiful squirrel loved by all the animals of the forest. She is the forest store-keeper but does not toy with her beauty sleep. An unpleasant issue with her memory, however, gets her into trouble and the other animals are not happy with her.

Our world is filled with stories. Stories that are funny, encouraging, heartwarming, and inspiring. These are true stories inspired by the people, places, and events that I encounter on a regular basis. A crippled child, people who overcome adversity, cancer patients who triumph over the disease, nature, and strangers I encounter, all have a story to tell.

One or two friends to whom I showed these papers in MS. having observed that they were not half bad, and some of my relations having promised to buy the book if it ever came out, I feel I have no right to longer delay its issue. But for this, as one may say, public demand, I perhaps should not have ventured to offer these mere "idle thoughts" of mine as mental food for the English-speaking peoples of the earth. What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow. I cannot conscientiously recommend it for any useful purposes whatever. All I can suggest is that when you get tired of reading "the best hundred books," you may take this up for half an hour. It will be a change.

Buy it Now! Here's the first fantastic book of sh*t to do in case you're F*CKING BORED! Now you don't have to waste away the hours wishing there was a f*cking better way to keep your mind and hands busy.Featuring 100 F*cking Adult Activities: Coloring, Sudoku, Dot-to-Dot, Word Searches, Mazes, Fallen Phrases, Math Logic, Word Tiles, Spot the Difference, Where the F*ck did the Other Half Go, Nanograms, Brick-by-F*cking-Brick, Word Scramble, and Much More! **Contains Inappropriate Language**