Humor

Have you ever ordered leather cheese? Have you ever told your cab driver that your hotel is located on One-Way Street? I doubt it. But English speakers trying to speak German say bizarre things like this all the time and I, for one, feel their pain. Acutely, even. They are speaking Dumb Deutsch. And they have no one else to blame but themselves. The German language is complex, treacherous and terribly difficult to learn, you see. Dumb Deutsch, on the other hand, is relatively straightforward and can be learned in about fifteen minutes. This is the problem, of course. And here are some of the shocking results. Please sit back and enjoy this short collection of bloodcurdling blunders, frightful faux pas and grisly gaffes, all in the Dumb Deutsch original. For the sake of fairness, a number of ridiculous errors Germans make when trying to speak English have also been included. Bitte Beachten: Diese Sammlung von peinlichen Ausrutschern und haarsträubenden Fehltritten ist selbstverständlich auch für deutsche Leser geeignet.

Described as a modern day Erma Bombeck and a clean Nora Ephron, Carol shares her thoughts on progress, wastefulness, and surveys with a candid, edgy voice as she protests, complains, and serves up her likes and dislikes for the peculiarities that plague our everyday life. Comical, wise, and thought provoking, find questionable behavior, delightful frustrations, and endearing pleasures in this fun, surprising collection of short stories.

Fun And Work is a book written by M. A. H. and published in 1882. The book is a collection of essays that explore the relationship between work and play, and how both are essential for a fulfilling life. The author argues that while work is necessary for survival, it is equally important to make time for leisure activities and hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment. The essays cover a wide range of topics, including the benefits of physical exercise, the importance of creativity, and the role of play in child development. The author also explores the concept of work-life balance and offers practical advice for achieving it. Overall, Fun And Work is a thought-provoking book that encourages readers to reconsider their attitudes towards work and play, and to find ways to incorporate both into their lives in a meaningful way.This scarce antiquarian book is a facsimile reprint of the old original and may contain some imperfections such as library marks and notations. Because we believe this work is culturally important, we have made it available as part of our commitment for protecting, preserving, and promoting the world's literature in affordable, high quality, modern editions, that are true to their original work.

Are you looking for a perfect present to please your little comedian?Welcome to one of the best books about jokes you'll ever find. Congratulations for having such fantastic taste in books, by the way.The jokes in this book aren't just any jokes. They are the best kind of jokes and the best kind of jokes are the kind where a door is involved.That's right! The jokes in this book are knock-knock jokes.Knock Knock Jokes For Kids is perfect for: Children (and adults) who love to have a good laughHours of fun for the whole familyKeeping kids engaged and entertained when you most need itMaking those long car trips more fun, and get a giggle for yourself along the wayAny time you want to laugh and have fun with the special kids in your lifeInteracting with children when you can't play outside!Early readers to practice word recognition and to encourage them to readReluctant readers to encourage them to read moreChildren to improve their memory and creativityCheering you up with funny and clean jokes after a hard dayWe have everything: Jokes about food, because what's funnier than food?Jokes about animals, which isn't difficult seeing as they're pretty funny on their own.Even jokes about something as silly as shoes. Shoes are very silly and it's easy to make jokes about them.Bonus Q&A jokes and riddles included!Let's go knock on some doors!Get this book and join in the fun with the children in your life!There's nothing like laughter to bring you together and help make memories!

Join the foulmouthed masses and unwind with badass swearing cat. Swear and relax while you color these badass cats. Some cats in this stress relieving coloring book are fat like Pusheen while some are slim like Tom but they all have one thing in common, swearing. This swear word adult coloring book features Original drawing designs. Drawing is printed on a single sheet. This coloring book serves as an anti-stress management therapy for adults, it is not intended for children. Enjoy mindfulness and relaxation with this brilliant anti-stress therapy, also the perfect novelty gift!

Monthly columns from best-selling writer Richard E. Davis about living in a small town in the Midwest. These were originally published in the Linn County Leader from 2005-2010. He is also the author of thriller Disaster at Havendale, a #1 Amazon bestseller.

Almost 14 years of walking the concrete jungle left me with a lot of stories to tell. Both good and bad. I decided to write this book to not only tell you some serious prison stories but also the funny ones. Also, to share what's it is like to be a female working in a male predominate profession with male offenders. It was by no means easy, and that career was not for the weak of heart or those with tender emotions. There were nights I would go home and cry for hours. I'd stand in the shower trying to scrub the skin off my body from disgust. I'd get fall down drunk trying to forget the things I've seen and heard. I was physically, mentally and emotionally ripped apart by this career. Both in a good and bad way. All in all, I can say that through my years, I learned and grew through my experiences with the Department of Corrections.

A collection of raunchy redneck humor collected at Cathouse Katie's!

Another adventure tale along the Atlantic shore with the dynamic duo of Mike Hammer, a talking hammerhead shark detective, and his trusty sidekick, the super intelligent (and rather talky) dolphin known as Data! This is number seven in the Sharklock Bones Beach Towns series. The twosome returns to Cape May to help the mysterious Mordecai find his friends before they depart on a trip without him. Their quest takes them through Cape May and out onto Cape May Point. Join the adventure and learn a bit of history about the wonderful city of Cape May.

It's amazing the things people have forgotten in life including their children. Read about some of them; and if you really want a good laugh, you can get it in the pages of this book. Interestingly the stories are true; funny, crazy but true. Dramas created out of what would have been for you just some of life's ordinary moments. Enjoy those dramas that could only have been created inside the mind of the insanely sane. Get inside, and hold on for the ride that would leave you in stitches.

"Robbie and Bobby is the Citizen Kane of daily webcomics featuring a young boy and an erudite robot equipped with a real brain and a genuine heart." - Ben Towle, Eisner Nominee for Oyster War. "Sunset Genesis" is a "best of" collection of 300 classic Robbie and Bobby comics dating back to their pre-Internet days, all the way up to their leap from comic to webcomic!

Get ready for a wild ride as a young, entitled real estate mogul and his power-broking grandmother tangle with a pair of spirited twin sisters; one a tough attorney and the other a talented, but down-on-her-luck, artist. As tempers flare, and passions soar, a muckraking gossip columnist with an ax to grind, named Vera Starr, lurks around every corner, ready to expose the deep, dark secrets of Chicago's powerful elite.

"Blame it on fast foods" takes a satirical look at fast food's impact on the Western world. It discusses fast food's impact on all areas of our lives, including: Business and Work; Finances; Sports; Entertainment; Travel and Vacations; Education; Law and Politics; Religion; Health; "The Self"; Relationships; Communication; Romance and Sex; and Parenting and Socialization. The author's primary goal in this book is to emphasize our ability to choose our own fate and prevent external influences from dictating how we live our lives.

Submit. Obey. Consume. This book is screaming to get added to your collection. GIVE UP.QUESTION NOTHING.CONSUME. WASTE. WANT MORE. REPEAT.YOU ARE YOUR JOB. Read it. Live it. Pass it on.

Grab This Deal For The Comics Artist In Your Life For Less Than $10See that girl always doodling and dreaming up stories and plots? She's gonna LOVE the What Happens Next Comic Book For Budding Artists edition, created especially for young artists between 9 and 14 years of age.Bokkaku Dojinshi has created this book as a 6 by 9 inch, perfect pocket book form. Plenty of different templates to explore as well as loads of room to keep track of plot ideas.There is even space for special expression studies of the main characters so the budding artist hits the right emotion in her images every single time.This book is perfect for: mangagraphic novelsSunday funniesanimefan fictionParents and teachers love What Happens Next Comics series for these reasons: helps speech developmentincreases literacydevelops a sense of sequencecreates confidencedevelops an appreciation for artboots creativityOnce you get this book, notice how handy it is - perfect pocket book size means no bulky bags on summer trips or lazy afternoons under a willow tree. All you need is your pencil and ink pen! Can't wait to see what you make of your And then... comic book!

As a research project, Jay begins a journey into the exciting world of the Waffle House line cook. He vows to stay happy and positive in the bleak atmosphere and records the experiences that bombard him as he perseveres through all the calamity. The humor is side splitting and the gossip is comparable to As the world turns; A soap opera. A must read! Delve into the story of the line cook, who got fired over writing this book, and laugh at the customer's expense and a section chock full of jokes!

BLACK REVENGE is a collection of true stories from well-known celebrities who were viewed as stereotypes and turned the tables on their would-be abusers to get the best of them. Featuring D.L. Hughley, Michael Colyar, Guy Torry, Roy Wood, Jr., George Wallace, Karlous Miller, Thea Vidale, Alonzo Bodden, Cocoa Brown, Nate Jackson, Paul "Smokey" Deese, Joey Wells, Don Reed, Eddie Bryant, May May Ali, Reginald "Bruh Man" Ballard, Shuckey Duckey, Angela Means, Mystro Clark, Buddy Lewis, Kevin "Damn Fool" Simpson, Ajai Sanders, Talent, Joe Recca, Lady Tuezdae, Willie Brown, Hope Flood, Bo P, Erika Edwards, Joe Blount, Jemmerio, Jay Reid, Brad Sanders, Ian Edwards, Andre Lavelle, Gerard Guillory, Angie Dallas Montgomery, Cortney Gee, Daniel Dugar, Anthony Demmer, Dr. Robert Keith Wyatt, Derrick Ellis, Daran Howard, Laura Hayes, Stevie Mack, Bruce Jingles, Curtis Arceneaux, All D. Freeman, D. d. Rainbow, Tony Spires, E, Raymond Brown, Brandon Jackson, Charles Patrick Gooch, Ken Spearman, & Tommy Chunn, these hilarious fables will have you laughing your tail off.

Two short funny stories that will make you laugh with colorful cartoon pictures! A humor book for everyone!

Holy carp! The conspiring children you've come to adore are older and much, much more corrupt than last year. Eager Fans on social media have already laughed their heads off or remembered compassion from most of these 'funny and wrong' stories. They convinced public figure Jae Byrd Wells that these stories not only belonged on social media, but the adventures needed to be shared with others. See no evil... hear no evil, but it's going to be a bumpy ride. Join Milady Jae as she tells you about the strangest happenings around her and to her. She will show you all about her daily adventures of being a mom, wife, sister, daughter, farmer, student, author, and radio/tv personality. According to fans, this book should be categorized as fiction, but they say nobody would believe her. Wells keeps a straight face when she inwardly laughs at herself. Yes, the Princess is dragging on her other writing projects, but wait . . . there's more to come! #JaesFunnyButTrue 2018 is collected, edited for paperback. It is divided into two parts; January through June and July through December. Pick up and read the first half of 2018.

In this instant classic from Wiseguy Satire Series are decoded letters that Trump wrote to figures as varied as Barack Obama, Kim Jong-un, Oprah Winfrey, Fred Trump, Rex Tillerson, Stormy Daniels, Pope Francis, Martin Luther King Jr., God, Michael Cohen, Hillary Clinton, Allah, Ivanka Trump, Nelson Mandela, Emmanuel Macron, Kanye West, Jeff Sessions, Omarosa, Paul Manafort, John McCain, Rosanne Barr, Prince Harry, LeBron James, Queen Elizabeth, Vladimir Putin and many others. These encrypted riotously comic letters were anonymously leaked to a New York-based journalist. The letters run across a spectrum of extremities, but they are authentic Trump, unfiltered, unplugged and full of revelations. They are unsparing in their honesty and insight about a president who has disrupted the hell out of Washington, DC and the whole wide world. These 38 Trump's letters are brazen, brash and wickedly funny, in every sense of the expression. Even when they are deadly serious, like Trump's letter to a kid separated from parents at the US border, they are steeped in ironies.You have watched President Donald Trump speak. You have read his tweets. Now imagine what his secret letters to selected individuals on his sharp radar would be like. Knowing Trump, they could be nothing but masterpieces.

See what randoms are saying about this hot new collection of tales by *mumbles*-award winner Neil Gay-Mann"I liked the one with the frogs, but some of these are fucking dark." - The Times York Tribune of Reviews"I'm sorry, prices are set by corporate. No, we don't let people 'just kind of wash dishes' in lieu of payment." - Rude Man at Denny's"Stop writing these." - I Have To Come Clean, The First One Wasn't A Real Newspaper

The enterprise of Messrs. T. Nelson & Sons and the friendly accommodation of Messrs. Macmillan render possible this collection in one cover of all the short stories by me that I care for any one to read again. Except for the two series of linked incidents that make up the bulk of the book called Tales of Space and Time, no short story of mine of the slightest merit is excluded from this volume. Many of very questionable merit find a place; it is an inclusive and not an exclusive gathering. And the task of selection and revision brings home to me with something of the effect of discovery that I was once an industrious writer of short stories, and that I am no longer anything of the kind. I have not written one now for quite a long time, and in the past five or six years I have made scarcely one a year. The bulk of the fifty or sixty tales from which this present three-and-thirty have been chosen dates from the last century. This edition is more definitive than I supposed when first I arranged for it. In the presence of so conclusive an ebb and cessation an almost obituary manner seems justifiable.

The Dregs of Crime is a 116 page sequel to Pocketful of Crime. Chock-full of vibrant, fluid, stream of consciousness comic strips that were created in 10 minutes or less to retain the whole-grain goodness! Each comic strip was improvised with no aforethought, using just a chisel-point marker, a paint pen, and a blank notecard. What ensues is a wild journey into the subterranean and shadowy subconscious of a mind that was weaned on grade-z science fiction and horror movies as a child. It is at times comical, charming, and surreal, filled with the sort of non-sequitur nonsense that comes from a glaring lack of sleep, and no adult supervision. Paul Kazee of It Came From Schenectady productions calls it, "Like the Far Side...only Far-ier!" Robert Fripp of King Crimson declares Tales From the Dougside, "A Hoot!" Rick Arthur, art instructor at New Mexico Tech says, "The sequel to Pocketful of Crime rears its head and roars!" Dregs of Crime is the 14th book collection of comics from Tales from the Dougside creator, Douglas Arthur.

¡¡¡ADVERTENCIA!!! Este libro no tiene ni pies ni cabeza, ni argumento alguno. Son tan solo fragmentos de conversaciones entre dos amig@s de Facebook, transcritas tal y como fueron tomadas de la famosa red social, sin corregir ni gaitas, por lo que priman las faltas de ortografía y las gramaticales, así que queda bajo su completa responsabilidad el descargarlo y/o comprarlo... El objetivo del autor es que usted se ría y lo pase bien con él; que lo consigue, de puta madre, que no... Lo siento, colega, usted ya fue advertido... NOTA...: También quiero pedir perdón de antemano a cualquier mujer que se atreva a leerlo, porque en el encontrará multitud de bromas y chistes machistas, y advertir que mi idea no es ofender, sino divertir, pero por si acaso... HE DICHO...!!!

Professor Birdsong loves dumb criminals. How dumb can a criminal be? Dumb enough to make you laugh out loud at these true stories of really dumb criminal activity. Leonard Birdsong is a law professor who specializes in criminal law who has collected 157 of his most favorite stories about dumb criminals. Criminals can be dumb and sometimes they are so dumb as to be really funny. This book is a collection of stories about dumb criminals from around the United States including the Professor's home state of Florida, criminal dummies from abroad, and drunken dummies from all over. All the stories are true and include Professor Birdsong's witty commentary. The book is sure to deliver some great belly laughs like the one about a transvestite purse snatcher who loses her water-filled condom which she used as a fake breast or the "drunken dummy" who called 911 to report a slot machine stole his money. Get your copy now and enjoy the humorous side of life as a criminal.

Do you want to see Girls Gone Wild and Miscellaneous? How do Wild Girls and their men get all emotional? Do you want new Wild Girls' cocktail recipes? Do you want to know how Wild Girls speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil, and smell no evil? Do you hanker for wild yet fallacious factoids? Can you find all the differences, even with all the trout? What camping equipment is really crucial? What is the anatomy of the planet Jupiter? What are well-liked updated board games? What is going on with New Century Dada? What is the latest in Home Study Courses? Which countries are the most degenerate? What snack items are less-than-popular? What is Magnus saying? What are some trendy family backyard projects? What is worrying us? What household hints have Mali and Nan cooked up for us? In spite of ceaseless pleading from editors and relatives, Mug & Mali have produced yet another volume showing their savoir bord-du-chocolate (French for "rank absurdity"). Readers will find the miscellany startling and the cocktails addicting - and vice-versa. "Wild Girls Gone Miscellaneous, Mug & Mali's Miscellany Volume 20," is imprudent yet foolish, rivaling such books as, "A Field Guide to Detestable Fauna," and "Do Trousers Matter?" It's another piece of work that will keep you up nights reading and drinking. This is a work of humor and satire, and is not part of the (in)famous Girls Gone Wild... video and franchise series. Enjoy!

"You want to put it where? No. You won't. I don't care."So begins this story of humorous verse and simple illustrations that will leave you and your partner giggling.Follow along as he constantly asks her to try something new, while each time she is more resolved to say no.But in the end, is she right?You Want To Put It Where is a comical celebration of awkward conversation, creating an entertaining approach to discussing anal sex with your partner. An "Extras" section of additional questions, answers and illustrations has been included.This book contains adult jokes and humor.

Mathematicians are well-known for their love of jokes, puzzles, puns and riddles. People who excel in the art of cold deductive reasoning also tend to find delight in a whimsical fusion of rhythm and rhyme. This original and entertaining book is for anyone who appreciates in equal parts mathematics and poetry. It brings together 26 timeless classic mathematical problems from school-level algebra, arithmetic, geometry and chess-themed combinatorics, cherished by their witty definitions and elegant solutions. Some of these problems go back centuries ago, including one attributed to Napoleon. The book adds to the allure by capturing all problem statements and solutions in a charming form of funny and imaginative poems for children. The author of the book, Vladimir Gurariy, was a respected mathematician who made numerous contributions to the fields of analytics geometry and functional analysis. Amongst his students, colleagues, friends and family Vladimir was rather famous as a performer and entertainer, always playing piano, reciting poems, telling jokes, inventing things or setting up epic pranks. He was also a hobbyist songwriter, orchestra conductor, poet and chess master. Vladimir had a great time working on this book, as it allowed him to combine almost all the things he loved - mathematics, poetry, humor and chess - into one entertaining product everyone can enjoy.

BEST GIFT FOR CAT LOVERS - ADORABLE CATS COLORING BOOK FOR ADULTS RELAXATION.Perfect coloring book for all cat lovers, Stress Relieving Designs for Adults Relaxation from TRENDY-ART to express their creativity, relax, and have fun!this book has MORE THAN 50 cat designs color each image with your favorite hues.This coloring book is great for anyone of all ages and makes the perfect gift for anyone in your life!Product Details: Large format 8.5"x11.0"High qualityPremium Glossy cover designThis positive cat quotes coloring book is perfect for: - Stress Relief - Birthday Gifts- Halloween Gifts Ideas - Christmas Gifts Ideas - Teacher Gifts - Mother Gifts - Women Gifts & more

Ditch the pastel pretenses and dive into the irreverent world of "Funny Easter," the slightly raunchy, slightly sweary, and hilarious Easter coloring book that brings humor to the holiday festivities. This adult coloring book is not your typical bunny-and-chick affair-it's a light profanity-laced celebration of Easter, tailored for those who appreciate a side of humor with their egg hunts.Inside "Funny Easter," you'll discover a collection of cheeky and intricately designed Easter scenes, each adorned with funny expressions that add a touch of irreverence to the holiday. From foul-mouthed bunnies to sassy eggs, every page invites you to infuse your own colorful language into the whimsical illustrations.Unwind and relieve stress by bringing these unique Easter-themed illustrations to life with your preferred coloring tools. Whether you're a seasoned colorist or a first-time Easter rebel, this book offers a hilarious and cathartic way to express your creativity and embrace the unconventional side of the holiday.Share the laughter with friends, gift it to fellow Easter rebels, or proudly display your completed artworks as a sweary tribute to the holiday season.This is more than just a coloring book; it's a festive and foul-mouthed journey into a new tradition of celebrating Easter. Grab your coloring tools, unleash your creativity, and give Easter a sweary spin with this delightfully irreverent coloring book for adults. So sit back, relax, and color! ***This coloring book is also available in a color by numbers edition!https: //www.amazon.com/dp/1984191241Charming hand-drawn designs inspire coloring fans of all ages and skill levels.Promotes relaxation, art therapy, and the scientifically proven therapeutic benefits of meditative mindfulness.Makes a perfect gift for adults, teens, seniors, and all of your loved ones.8.5 x 11" single-sided paper means that you can use your favorite art supplies - including pencils, markers, pens, crayons, watercolors and more!2 bonus color test pages allow you to test your coloring mediums and empower you to unleash your creativity and plan your next coloring masterpiece.Enjoy FREE BONUS COLORING PAGES to get a taste of other coloring books you may enjoy.