Humor

Have you ever wanted to write a book? Well now it's true! Thanks to this handy, easy-to-read "guidebook", you can follow along! Learn all about Chaptering, The Main Character, The Doctor Character, and the three genres of books, to name just a few. Everything you need to know is here and nothing you don't is not!

"Under The Book" is not really under any book other than the letter 'T' itself, but as we understand words a little more and carry on into the English alphabet, it's just another book in an otherwise odd and somewhat unusual collection of books about the single letters in turn of the English language.

Do Vampires Poop? Do Ghosts Fart? Can Zombies Swim? Come along on this hilarious trip as Sean Leary answers these and other incredibly important questions in his own unique funny and strange manner, offering a book full of laughs and unique creativity.

Leger's family are taking a trip to a tiny Scottish island and he is looking forward to spending the summer with Annabella, Hugh and Bob. But when he discovers he is to stay in Glasgow with Annabella's niece, Carole, while the rest of the family go on their trip he is outraged. Leger hears there has been a murder on the island and knows he has to somehow travel with them and assist in finding the killer. What he didn't count on was meeting a fellow cat sleuth on the island as well as a clowder of unfriendly gossips. The island way of life proves to be very different from Glasgow. Can he deal with culture shock as well as solve the crime? Can he and Lily, the beautiful calico detective work together to solve this case or will their egos prevent them from becoming friends?

This book is NOT a 'How-To' of tips and techniques nor is it a Social Media marketing guide - FAR FROM IT! Social Media Psychobabble exposes the amorphous world of Social Media, digging into the absurd, nonsensical psychobabble that the majority of this medium has become. It is written to reveal the mess, open dialogue and educate - It is a wake-up call to the powers that can do something to fix the problems! The book looks at the history of the WWW, the How-To genre, Social Media Tools, the Players and the massive diatribe of drivel and imbecilic, valueless marketing that now fills masses of server farms across the globe. It rips open the happy-flappy veneer of the narcissistic, over-exuberant Social Media snake-oil sales people and it exposes many for the charlatans they are, with their absurd claims of instant business success. It is by no means inclusive of all as the subject has grown to a Godzilla size problem. The book is full of examples showing how the on-line 'content-creation-runaway-train' is polluting the WWW (The Beast) with unmoderated, unmitigated garbage that is wreaking social and political havoc as it favours the stupid, the fake, the narcissists, the trolls, the bullies, the scammers, the terrorists and more. It shows how we stand by and allow The Beast to stupidly pollute our youngest most malleable, susceptible minds. If you are a parent, a teacher, a social worker and have young lives to protect and nurture you will want to know what is really going on in the belly of The Beast. If you are working in or touting Social Media and are perhaps a runaway-content-creator then this book is certainly NOT for you but you and your ilk are most probably in it ... Enjoy!

What makes a fairy tale Irregular? Hansel & Gretel's parents refusing to allow the kids to be adopted by fairies because they disapprove of the fairy lifestyle. Rumplestiltskin teaching a young woman to keep her promises. A prince for Rapunzel who never mastered rope climbing in gym class. Tom Thumb's mother refusing to allow him to date the one girl his size because she's Protestant.Not fairy tales for children - although frequentlychildish - Irregular Fairy Tales are much more fun than atrip to the ball, and less expensive too, when you considerhow much interest Fairy Godmothers are charging thesedays.The Ithaca Times says..."The conversations between characters in these stories sometimes recall the deadpan absurdities of Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks (in 'The 2,000-Year-Old Man' and all of their movies.)"..."Teel is at his best when he integrates sound, alabeit only tangentially relevant, logic into these tales in a breezy, off-hand style."... "In 'Hansel and Gretel' (and several other stories) (Teel) wraps up his story in fashion that is...the opposite of the traditional ending, which can be gratifying to those who find cheerfully clever children to be really obnoxious." --The Ithaca Times

She's sitting on a secret. With thousands Uber and Lyft rides under her belt, Uber Diva offers a birds eye view of what it's really like to work as a rideshare driver. She also instructs passengers on how to avoid getting spanked with a 1 Star rating. Meet the freaks, learn the equipment, and see how this diva survived when a drunk driver T-Boned her car. Based on true rideshare experiences in the San Francisco Bay Area. "Uber Diva" includes educational chapters answering these burning questions: What kind of insurance is needed as an Uber driver?What equipment will be necessary before drivers start driving?How is Uber different than driving for Lyft?What's the etiquette for passengers?What about driver and passenger safety?This book expresses the author's personal memories and opinion, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the companies mentioned in the book including Uber, Lyft, Google, Apple or Twitter. This book is not affiliated with the online jewelry retailer Uber Diva.

Cranthology is a collection of poems, cartoons, stories, excerpts, etc., chosen by the compiler, who is me, Roy Crandal. You will find dictionary poems, straight poems, arbitrary silliness, cartoons, six essays and one special Movie Matinee.

J'ai lu tous les dictionnaires. Aucun, de près ou de loin, n'est de l'étoffe - simili velours en skaï - du mien. Ceci ne m'a guère surpris. C'était donc la preuve qu'il y avait une grosse lacune dans l'univers feutré du savoir académique. Dès lors, il ne reste plus qu'à la combler en publiant mon dictionnaire. Evidemment, il est moins épais que certains mais, primo, il ne tire pas à la ligne, sauf près des rivières, et, secundo, sa vocation est tout autre: il est le dictionnaire indépassable, le dictionnaire définitif, Ze dictionnaire, Il dictionnaire, El dictionnaire, Das dictionnaire et ainsi de suite jusqu'à épuisement de l'ensemble des dialectes de cours de récréation.Ainsi, après cet ouvrage définitif, plus aucun autre ne pourra sérieusement se réclamer de la famille des dictionnaires. Et s'il le fait, je prédis qu'un ouragan de mygales mangeuses de hamburger de crapauds fidjiens s'abattra sur ses auteurs, sur ses lecteurs, sur ses éditeurs, sur les libraires qui le vendront et quelques centaines de milliers de malheureux innocents qui ne feront que passer par là, le mauvais jour au mauvais endroit.

If you are comfortable with off-the-wall dream-poems, scribbly diagrams suggesting meanings, several Maps to the Right Brain, and explorations into the depths of a man's soul, this book is for you. Apparently the author thought organization and planning expendable. It seems whatever drifted into the author's head was suitable for posterity. Who else would mix dream poetry, art, cartoons, weird essays, scribbly diagrams, and Maps to the Right Brain in one book? This "piece of art" is held together by lack of continuity. Read the neurotic efforts of a temporarily confused author, Doug Rucker, who, in addition, has come up with the puzzling title, CRANDALICUS? Good reading!

A divorced man continues his hilarious search for true love as he struggles to learn what women really want.

A proper obituary for a famous shelving unit; an ode to a vacuum flask; a Socratic dialogue on product naming; a product recall for a disco ball; a rondeau for LED lighting, set to music for four voices. These are only five of the fifty shades of IKEA, printed on paper, flatpacked inside glossy cover stock, no assembly required. Just open and read. Fifty Shades of IKEA is a collection of fifty essays, stories or poems, each written in a different writing genre, none of which is "abusive relationship erotica."

A funny joke book about the University of Texas A&M Football. It is filled with dirty jokes about your favorite Texas A&M fan you love to hate. It makes a great gift or a book to share with friends. You will be telling these jokes over and over again to your laughing friends.

It is training and energy for the brain. KaKuro is a logical numerical puzzle, the mathematical equivalent of a crossword puzzle. In the cells it is necessary to place the numbers from 1 to 9, there are inactive cells (marked in black). In cells with given numerical values, the upper right value indicates the sum of the digits in the row, and the value from the lower left position is equal to the sum of the digits of the column below the cell. For example, the number 6 can be represented as a sum of 2 and 4 or 1 and 5; the same numbers (3 and 3) are not allowed. Calcudoku - this is a mathematical and logical puzzle. It is necessary to fill the grid with numbers so that in each line and in each column they are not repeated. The number in the corner of each selected block is the result of an arithmetic operation on the digits in this block. The numbers inside the block can be repeated. All signs of mathematical signs are hidden. The puzzle can be called Square Wisdom, Kendoku. 50 Kakuro 8 x 8. 50 Kakuro 9 x 9. 50 Kakuro 14 x 14. 50 Kakuro 15 x 15. 100 calcudoku sudoku puzzle easy levels. 100 calcudoku sudoku puzzle medium levels. Only unique puzzles. + 250 sudokus difficult level that can be downloaded and printed. + 250 maze puzzles that can be downloaded and printed. 1 verified solution. All answers are at the end of the book. Exclusive puzzles. An excellent book for free time and mind exploration. I hope you enjoy the book. Best regards, Basford Holmes

Have no fear! The Great Book of Pub Trivia Vol.2 is finally hereand it's the perfect companion for game nights, fun family times, fun evenings with friends, or just reading to brush up on your pub trivia knowledge. These trivia questions will get your brain working, that's for sure. You'll get instant access to fun quizzes covering different topics such as film, politics, science, history, fashion and many more. You'll get a taste of quizzes like: This is a character in Star Wars and one of the villains in the franchise.He was Darth Sidious's first apprentice and a Sith Lord. He has quite a shocking appearance, with black and red skin, yellow eyes and horns. He survived death in the Phantom Menace, killed Obi-Wan Kenobi's love interest, and formed a group of crime lords called the Shadow Collective. What was this character's name?Almost half of the world's population speak one of only ten languages as their mother tongue.Mandarin is the most spoken language with 1.2 billion speakers, Spanish is the second most spoken language, then followed by English. What is the fourth most spoken language on the planet? It is the official language of the government of India, and it is also a recognized language in Mauritius, Trinidad and Tobago, Guyana, and Suriname. Name this language. He is one of the most iconic villains in film and television who we first met in the 1952 novel Psycho, by Robert Bloch.The character is psychotic and has Dissociative Identity Disorder. He also suffers from visual and auditory hallucinations. His delusions made him think he was his mother, and that she was controlling him to kill people. The character was inspired by notorious serial killer Ed Gein. What is this character's name?

Quotations paired with pictures in improbable ways, with here and there and unexpected turn or two. Not quite "Mad as a hatter" but certainly with a few "bats in the belfry"!

This scarce antiquarian book is included in our special Legacy Reprint Series. In the interest of creating a more extensive selection of rare historical book reprints, we have chosen to reproduce this title even though it may possibly have occasional imperfections such as missing and blurred pages, missing text, poor pictures, markings, dark backgrounds and other reproduction issues beyond our control. Because this work is culturally important, we have made it available as a part of our commitment to protecting, preserving and promoting the world's literature.

If you were born from 1946 - 1964 you're a Boomer. Like it or not. When I turned 60 I realized what it has meant, to us and to the Grandkids. I'm still the same inside and I don't plan on changing. The things that have happened in our lives all this time are still as meaningful today as they were back then. So, what are we doing differently that really affects out points of view about the world as it is?Somehow, the older I get the more I do things the way I used to. We didn't forget, we're just out of practice. But, some things really bring it all back to life and nothing does it more than watching the grandkids growing up. It doesn't matter whose they are.That's when you get to see that light in us all, once again. Groomin' the little ones to be witty and wild. Shake it up, have fun, tell them what you used to do and how it use to be. They love it! Our kids tuned us out a long time ago but their kids really seem to get it.That's why I call ourselves, "Groomers". Condensing GR-andparent b-OOMERS to just GROOMER, or B2G.If you want to have a nice time thinking about it, then here is my offering. Take a little time for yourself and see how much you can remember about the simple good times we had. It's a fun read. There's two books available, they are the same, only with the titles reversed. It's all how you look at it. Choose the one you like best. "Sixty From The Sixties" or "Boomers To Groomers". You can view the book trailer on YouTube with the link below.http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmDF-XUtVI0I hope you come away with the same good feeling that I had writing it.

Go on an exciting adventure and see life through the eyes of a secondary school teacher. Experience a working week as an English teacher and encounter a range of fascinating characters and their amusing antics!

If you're looking for gardener jokes and funny gardening jokes you've certainly come to the right place. Some of these gardeners jokes, puns and gags are old, but some of them are new, and while we don't want to plug them too much, we think this a great collection of funny gardening jokes.We hope you enjoy this bumper crop of the very best gardener jokes and stories.

You've seen the rest, now meet the best: The Daddy, the ultimate in bad Dad joke books!Packed with 100s of terrible gags and truly awful puns, The Daddy comes with its own dedication page, enabling you to pen an extra special message for that extra special person in your life - your Dad!Go on, I dare you: treat the old man to a copy, then skedaddle to a dark room somewhere while he works his magic, teasing and tormenting as only a Dad can. As it says on the guarantee, he'll love it - you'll hate it! No wonder with jokes like these: I've started work as a waiter. Granted, the money's not fantastic; but at least I can put food on the table...My fear of horse chestnut trees. After years of therapy, I've finally managed to conker it.I took my PC back to the shop when it wouldn't stop swearing at me. I said, I think it might be the curser...So I said, doctor, doctor, every time I go for a number two, it comes out looking like chips. He said, have you tried pulling that string vest up a bit?I asked this bloke what his American Pit Bull puppies were going for. He said, anything they can get their teeth into...Delivery driver walks into the medical centre and slams a dozen pizzas on the counter. He says, before anyone asks, it's just what the doctor ordered.This bloke emptied a packet of grated cheese over my head. I said, that was mature, wasn't it...?I rang the gaffer. I said, I'm just arriving on the south coast now, boss. He said, do you realise it's five in the morning? And what are you doing on the south coast? I said, just what you said, boss: making sure I was in Brighton early.I said, I can't believe how much weight I've put on. I might have one of those over active, erm, erm...She said, thyroid gland? I said, no, knife and fork!My pet mouse, Elvis...he was caught in a trap.

Life Lessons I Learned from Lexie is a poignant book showing how one life touches another, be it human or animal. This book is for young and old alike, and will bring a tear to your eye when you read it with an open heart. 50% of the net proceeds of the sale of this ebook will be donated to the Best Friends Animal Society to help other homeless animals. You can visit their site at www.bestfriends.org.

This journal is the place for recording the boldest and most brilliant of ideas. Creative Cuss quotes inside to keep you motivated along with areas to plot goals and plant your fucking magical ideas.

MCRD - Marine Corps Recruit Depot MCRD is a saga of screw ups too side-splitting to be believed. This story relates the humor, and laughter depicted in the anthology of thoughts and memories created by one man, in one platoon, in one company, during one summer at MCRD. Enjoy the journey of 58 "boys" as they suffer the transition to become one of The Few-The Proud- a United States Marine. "You'll dye laughing. MCRD is a place, chosen and designed by persons of wisdom, to make the best Marines on God's earth. Some break and fall along the way! Others, learn to fear failure and disappointment more than death itself. Those who accept the challenge, through sweat and agony, become members of a storied brotherhood and receive a title viewed in awe, while others fail to understand their unbreakable creed. To be there, is a life changing experience. Lessons and loyalties learned will follow them, and influence them the remainder of their days. The author believes God allows us to only remember the humor, and not relive the "wish I could die" part! After this read, see if you agree. Enjoy!

Is it true that nice guys finish last? It sure seems that way as a divorced man fights his way through a comedic dating scene. Will he ever find his soul mate? Phil has been called the male version of Carrie Bradshaw. Enjoy his humorous essays about relationships and the struggles we all have finding and keeping lovers. Women appreciate his open view into the minds of men. Artist Mike Swaim adds to the hilarity with his brilliant sketches, giving another dimension to Phil's quest for love.

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." - Mark Twain I'm at a New Year's party with a bunch of friends, most married. Midnight is approaching, and I'm holding the tallest Bombay Sapphire and tonic I can find, because I haven't found Miss Next. A married friend remarks. "Dude, who are you going to kiss at midnight?" "No idea." "Why don't you mingle and find someone?" "Maybe I don't see anyone I'd like to kiss." "Hey, beggars can't be choosers." "Neither can married men." "But..." "Careful, lad. You don't want to confess infidelity to a writer." "I'm not. I'm just saying, if I wanted to kiss another woman, I could." "Right, and you might be caught and forced to pay the consequences, which would be more significant than mine." "So, you like being alone because it's safer." "Single. I like being single, because it offers nearly limitless opportunities." "What about the sex?" "Really? You want to go there? How long have you been married?" "Never mind. Enjoy your drink, nice guy." I am nice-to a fault. Then, after being poked enough times, I stray into naughty land. Although I know it's what many women prefer, I can't seem to transform myself into a bad boy. I witness bad boys treating women badly. Often, these women complain to me about it. Then, I watch them walk away from me, and swoon back into the beast's arms. Insanity, if you ask me. This is what makes me fall from niceness. Women constantly saying they want one thing, while selecting the other. Women don't want to fuck nice guys. Women want bad boys to fuck them. There's only one way to describe it: Nice Guy FAIL.

These funny short stories will keep you laughing. This book is a collection of my favorite humor from around the world.

Conversations with Pop is a series of flash fiction stories between a father and his son as they discuss Pop's unique take on life while he imparts some of his "wisdom" to his son on everything from reading, driving, social networking, technology, and the way things used to be.

This book is a compilation of articles Charles wrote for the local newspaper over the course of 20 years or so and represents his continuous and enthusiastic support of community and family in and around Lizard Lick, North Carolina. He is nearing 90 and can still make us laugh.

This fun and short book offers 101 acceptable moments when it's probably okay to tell a lie.Can you think of another acceptable moment not given in this book? Share it using #WhenItsOkay. Simply post a picture of the book cover on your favorite social media platform, include #WhenItsOkay, and tell us your acceptable moment.By utilizing the hashtag for this series, you can find other interesting insights and stories given by people who are free and independent...or selectively apathetic.Don't hold back! Tell us your own unique acceptable moment. You just might help someone out or make someone's day.**************************Don't forget to check out our mindfulness guides on Amazon - Look for author page Harper Daniels or search for one of our guides listed below. You can also link to them through 30DaysNow.com, @30daysnow.Our fun, simple, and effective mindfulness guides for personal and professional growth are: 30 Days to Stop Giving a Shit30 Days to Overcome a Shitty Job30 Days to Stop Apologizing30 Days to Reduce Depression30 Days to Reduce Anxiety30 Days to Overcome FOMO30 Days to Overcome Guilt30 Days to Overcome Shame30 Days to Overcome Regret30 Days to Stop Being an Asshole30 Days to Overcome Loneliness30 Days to Reduce Stress30 Days to Overcome a Toxic Relationship30 Days to Overcome Fear of Failure30 Days to Overcome Fear of Rejection30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic30 Days to Stop Being a Shitty Boss30 Days to Overcome Procrastination...and many more via Amazon...Please don't forget to leave a review...and your own unique "when it's okay to lie" moment.