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Bubble, bubble, got your ass in a sling? Oh, Darlin' that ain't no big thing. Deadman walkin'? Ghost a-talkin'? 'Round here, that just ain't shockin'. No lawbreaker too evil. No case too small. All ya' gotta do is call.>Scaled, feathered or furry, never you worry.>Bet your bootay, we'll save the day. Southern Fried Sass, Baby, all the way!
Welcome to Hairy Wart, Luuueeesiana. The tofu's southern fried, and the Soul Food's vegetarian ~ 'Cause it's just not right to eat your friends.Here they are! The first THREE stories in the Southern Fried Sass series - all in one place!Bubble, bubble, you got trouble?Don'tcha worry. Don'tcha fret. We'll be there on the double.No job too big. No villain too crazy. We're Southern Fried Sass!Somebody wake up Daisy!OH! And most importantly, (At least in their minds.) meet the DRAGONETTES!Livin', breathin', smokin' proof that it's not the size of the scales but the SASS in the flames that makes the Guardsma...ahem, I mean, Guardswoman.Take a load off. Put your feet up.And enjoy! XOXO Julia
Dragonettes, Honey Buns, and one dead Piggy Princess!Hang On, Hairy Wort, it's Lazy Daisy to the rescue…well, sorta.Pat-a-cake, Pat-a-cake, Baker Bear's Witch,Oh, dear me I just flipped that switch.There's a pig in the oven as dead as can be,Without a heart, or a lung, or a danged kid-ney.With a zip and a zap and a tappity-tap,I'll fix this mess even without a catnap.Got Miss Bunny, Doc Downey, and Granny Cleo,One, two, three, and away we go.Bubble, Bubble, we sure got some trouble.Another Piggie's missing, so now it's double.Somethin' sure stinks, but that might be the skunks,Or the Cats, or the Possums, oh heck! They're all punks.See ya' in Hairy Wort.It's sure to be snort!Come 'on down!There'll be laughs all 'round.
Welcome back to Hairy Wart! I missed the heck outta all of ya'! And, I know you won't be surprised that we're once again raisin' hell and forgettin' to take names.Rosie, here, buckle up, Buttercups, I'm the Witch your momma warned you about, but in an epically awesome way. Promise.Everything was fine. I mean, normal…for us. Faith and I were arguing, as usual, my bossy Gator-in-law was butting his snout in where it didn't belong, and Daisy was runnin' interference when she could keep her eyes open. Just another sunny day in Hairy Wort - right?Sure, but dadgumm, it was shorter lived than a flea fart in a windstorm. Gettin' outta the house (away from Faith), Taffy and I happened upon a dead body in the rubble of the Marshall Mansion that literally got up and walked away when we weren't lookin'.No! I am not messin' with you. I swear it happened.Now, Beau and Faith are losin' their minds, the Dragonettes are beside themselves, and Daisy, well, she's sleepin', but that beside the point. Just when I thought things had fallen to the bottom of the swamp where the creepy crawlies creep and crawl, a tall, handsome Panther with a quick smile and a glint in his gleaming emerald eyes appeared smack dab in the middle of this mess.And now, he's tellin' everybody who'll listen that he's my Mate.What the H-E-Double-hockey-sticks am I supposed to do with that pile of Grunch crap? Good Goddess, if you love me, send a hundred-pound box of chocolate and three gallons of Miss Bunny's sweet iced tea.One thing's for darned sure, when the Goddess and the Universe team up, with Destiny and Fate on the sidelines, well, it's more than a Witch can endure. Come on down, hang out a while, 'cause Heaven knows I could use your help.
Bubble, bubble, got your ass in a sling? Oh, Darlin', that ain't no big thing.Deadman walkin'? Ghost a-talkin'? 'Round here, that just ain't shockin'.No lawbreaker too evil. No case too small. All ya' gotta do is call.No ifs, no buts, no coconuts. It's just a fact. We got your back.Scaled, feathered or furry, never you worry.Bless your little heart. We're the only place to start.Bet your bootay, we'll save the day. Southern Fried Sass, Baby, all the way!
Bubble, bubble, who the hell asked for a bubble?We're off to the Swamp, a nasty hex to tromp.Wanda the wand is rarin' to scoot, and the crazy Wolf is a root-a-toot-toot. (Sorry, rhyming's not my thing. Talk to Daisy. She's the danged poet.)Grab your boots, your magic, and a big can of bug spray, I'mma need all the help I can get to keep this evil at bay.The Dragonettes are out like a light with no little Prince Charmings in sight.Yes, there'll be Gators, but no worries, they've all been fed. Even that nasty little redhead,Nannette and her crazy brother, Ted.P.S. If you see Dash, tell him to get his Slothy butt to the Swamp!
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