Bøger af Carlton

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This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work was reproduced from the original artifact, and remains as true to the original work as possible. Therefore, you will see the original copyright references, library stamps (as most of these works have been housed in our most important libraries around the world), and other notations in the work.This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work.As a reproduction of a historical artifact, this work may contain missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.

For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and "one of the most original novelists working today" by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with a short novella about the horrors of childhood. Little Benny isn't very good at taking tests. It's not that he's a stupid kid or doesn't pay attention in class. It's just that he's absolutely terrified of failure. It doesn't matter how hard he studies. He gets so nervous that he freezes up and his mind goes blank, rarely even answering a single question before the time is up. This is especially difficult now that he's in Mrs. Gustafson's fifth grade class, where the punishment for failure is to draw a curse from the bad box-a magical device that permanently mutates children into horrific monsters. The Bad Box is an absurd horror story for fans of Mellick's creepy cute novellas such as Mouse Trap and Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes.

For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and "one of the most original novelists working today" by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with a Bio-Mech action horror story set on a surreal battlefield in the no man's land between Heaven and Hell.Mark Knight awakens in the afterlife and discovers that he's been drafted into Hell's army, forced to fight against the hordes of murderous angels attacking from the North. He finds himself to be both the pilot and the fuel of a demonic war machine known as Lynx, a living demon woman with the ability to mutate into a weaponized battle suit that reflects the unique destructive force of a man's soul.While piloting Lynx, Mark adapts quickly to his new life as a soldier and learns that his abilities far surpass those of a normal human recruit. His fighting skills are so great that it could even be a turning point in this war that has not progressed in over five thousand years. But Mark has no interest in winning the war for the kingdom of Hell. All he wants is to see his wife, Amy, once again. As a Christian woman who died tragically in her youth, Mark is positive that she went to Heaven after her death. And if he can fight his way past the angels to reach Heaven's Gate, Mark believes he'll be able to rescue Amy from a life of servitude and find a place they can live together for the rest of their post-human lives.Set in the same universe as Mellick's bizarro romantic comedy, I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter, The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart illustrates a darker side of the afterlife, one that neither Christian nor Atheist would wish to endure.

There is a grocery store. The last grocery store in the world. It stands alone in the middle of a vast wasteland that was once our world. The open sign is still illuminated, brightening the black landscape. It can be seen from miles away, even through the poisonous red ash. Every night at the exact same time, the store comes alive. It becomes exactly as it was before the world ended. Its shelves are replenished with fresh food and water. Ghostly shoppers walk the aisles. The scent of freshly baked breads can be smelled from the rust-caked parking lot. For generations, a small community of survivors, hideously mutated from the toxic atmosphere, have survived by collecting goods from the store. But it is not an easy task. Decades ago, before the world was destroyed, there was a terrible thing that happened in this place. A group of armed men in brown paper masks descended on the shopping center, massacring everyone in sight. This horrible event reoccurs every night, in the exact same manner. And the only way the wastelanders can gather enough food for their survival is to traverse the killing spree, memorize the patterns, and escape the bloodbath before it's too late.From the godfather of bizarro fiction, Carlton Mellick III, comes an absurd horror story unlike anything you've read before.

There is something wrong with Tori Manetti's new exercise bike. It is made from flesh and bone. It eats and breathes and poops. It was once a billionaire named Darren Oscarson who underwent years of cosmetic surgery to be transformed into a human exercise bike so that he could live out his deepest sexual fantasy. Now Tori is forced to ride him, use him as a normal piece of exercise equipment, no matter how grotesque his appearance. Set in a health food dystopia, Exerice Bike is an absurd horror tale of domination and submission, power and obedience, desire and desperation, from Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III.

When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement.For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author.Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.

Four college students find themselves trapped within a creepy children's cereal commercial from the 1980s.

Bizarro fiction's most prolific author takes the serial killer genre to a whole new level.Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It's the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel-a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana's soul. He makes her a deal. If she promises to never kill another human being again, he'll allow her to kill him as much as she wants, using whichever methods she desires. He would become her eternal murder victim. At first, this seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana. She doesn't have to worry about hunting down her prey or getting caught by the police. But there are only so many ways you can kill a man before the process gets mechanical and boring. When she starts killing other men behind Gabriel's back, he becomes insanely jealous. She tries to break off the relationship with him, but Gabriel refuses to let her go. He has become obsessed. Now she has to deal with a crazed stalker who is infatuated with being killed by her, a man who knows all her secrets, who cannot be killed, who cannot be turned in to the police, who is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. And no matter how hard she tries, there's nothing Oksana can do to get rid of him. As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer's affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Apeshit and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.

They call it Gloom Town, but that isn't its real name. It is a sad city, the saddest of cities, a place so utterly depressing that even their ales are brewed with the most sorrow-filled tears. They built it on the back of a colossal mountain-sized animal, where its woeful citizens live like human fleas within the hairy, pulsing landscape. And those tasked with keeping the city in a state of constant melancholy are the Stressmen-a team of professional sadness-makers who are perpetually striving to invent new ways of causing absolute misery. But for the Stressman known as Fernando Mendez, creating grief hasn't been so easy as of late. His ideas aren't effective anymore. His treatments are more likely to induce happiness than sadness. And if he wants to get back in the game, he's going to have to relearn the true meaning of despair.Like James and the Giant Peach combined with one of David Cronenberg's early body horror films, The Tick People is a charming children's fable that quickly devolves into a grotesque sexual nightmare.

Sally is an odd little girl. It's not because she dresses as if she's from the Edwardian era or spends most of her time playing with creepy talking dolls. It's because she chases rainbows as if they were butterflies. She believes that if she finds the end of the rainbow then magical things will happen to her-leprechauns will shower her with gold and fairies will grant her every wish. But when she actually does find the end of a rainbow one day, and is given the opportunity to wish for whatever she wants, Sally asks for something that she believes will bring joy to children all over the world. She wishes that it would rain candy forever. She had no idea that her innocent wish would lead to the extinction of all life on earth.