Bøger af Dave Barry

"A is for Animals" is a visually pleasing alphabet book using negative space, created by a teacher and graphic design wife and husband team.

Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times bestselling author and actual Florida Man Dave Barry returns with a Florida caper full of oddballs and more twists and turns than a snake slithering away from a gator. Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems--if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is, some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it. Meanwhile, Ken Bortle of Bortle Brothers Bait and Beer has hatched a scheme to lure tourists to his failing store by making viral videos of the "Everglades Melon Monster." The Monster is in fact an unemployed alcoholic newspaperman named Phil wearing a Dora the Explorer costume head. Incredibly, this plan actually works, inspiring a horde of TikTokers to swarm into the swamp in search of the monster at the same time villains are on the hunt for Jesse's treasure. Amid this mayhem, a presidential hopeful arrives in the Everglades to start his campaign. Needless to say, it does not go as planned. In fact, nothing in this story goes as planned. This is, after all, Florida.

Wyatt Palmer's just another undersized freshman hoping to fit in at high school, but when his best friend Matt Diaz's pet ferret ends up in the hands of the Bevins, the most popular boys at Coral Cove High, Wyatt and Matt try to get the animal back by attending a party for the cool clique and stumble onto the Bevin family's dark secret.

The latest Peter Pan adventure by the "New York Times"-bestselling team of Barry and Pearson is set in 1901 London, where it's up to Molly's 11-year-old daughter Wendy to keep a secret cache of starstuff out of the clutches of shadow creatures. Illustrations.

"A bestselling humorist shows how to age gracefully, taking cues from his dog Lucy"--

I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier-and a lot funnier. Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process-with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn't stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as:• How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler• Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money• Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let's be honest—a no-talent loser• How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider• An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel)• Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate• How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating• Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one• How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any• Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death• And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that's only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don't have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics ("Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can't afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies.What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you'll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income?1. More than $50,000.2. Less than $50,000.3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe?1. Less than $10,000.2. More than $10,000.3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio?1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities.2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks.3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor?1. The amount of return.2. The degree of risk.3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement?1. Savings.2. Social security.3. Sale of kidneys.—from the Introduction: "Why You Need This Book”Also available as a Crown eBook.

The New York Times calls him "the funniest man in America,” and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide.In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on:• The scientific search for the world's funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word "weasel”)• RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot• Outwitting "smart” kitchen appliances and service contracts• Elections in Florida ("You can't spell Florida without 'duh'”)• The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating• The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui• The choice between death and taxesAnd much, much more—including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11.Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business, were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh.Also available as an eBook

The Extravaganza of the Seas is a five-thousand-ton cash cow, a top-heavy tub whose sole function is to carry gamblers three miles from the Florida coast, take their money, then bring them back so they can find more money. In the middle of a tropical storm one night, these characters are among the passengers it carries: Fay Benton, a single mom and cocktail waitress desperate for something to go right for once; Johnny and the Contusions, a ship's band with so little talent they are . . . well, the ship's band; Arnold and Phil, two refugees from the Beaux Arts Senior Center; Lou Tarant, a wide, bald man who has killed nine people, though none recently; and an assortment of uglies whose job it is to facilitate the ship's true business, which is money-laundering or drug-smuggling or . . . something.

Just in time, Dave Barry supplies the wholly original, much needed history and guide to the new American politics and its three capitals, Washington, D.C., Austin, and South Florida. No surprise: it's hilarious.Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for President several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art) Barry has instead outdone himself.Below the Beltway includes Barry's stirring account of how the United States was born, including his version of a properly rewritten Declaration (When in the course of human events it behooves us, the people, not to ask "What can our country do for us, anyway?" but rather whether we have anything to fear except fear itself...)and a revised Constitution (Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of people who own at least two dark suits and have not been indicted recently.).Dave also cracks the income tax code, explains the growth(s) of government, congressional hearing difficulties, and the persistent rumors of the influence of capital in the Capitol. Among other civic contributions, his tour of Washington, D.C., should end school class trips forever.

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry exposes the shattering truth. Whether he's splashing with the U.S. sychronized swim team ("Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow") or reliving the Pilgrims' first Thanksgiving ("We've decided to obliterate your culture, but first may we try the stuffing?"), Dave Barry proves that one man can make a difference--by having the guts to answer the questions few people bother to ask: ¿ What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting? ¿ Where do the World's Three Most Boring People meet? ¿ Why is Colorado freezing so many human gonads? ¿ And just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?

If you're not already acquainted--nay, infatuated--with the works of the man who the New York Times calls "the funniest man in America," you can get cracking right now with this all-time favorite collection of Dave Barry's humor columns. Dave Barry's Bad Habits won't rot your teeth, cause your insurance premiums to go up, or make your kids go cross-eyed if they sit too close to it. It will, however, make you laugh so hard your middle actually moves (the best exercise, and possibly the only kind you'll be interested in after forty). Here, preserved for all time, are Barry's profoundest musings on such topics as how to get kids to stop smoking (eliminate tenth grade), what to do if your car is making loud noises (turn up the radio), and a solution to the battle of the sexes (let the men do housework, say, for the next six thousand years to even things up). Together they serve to expose the little insanities of everyday life and assure us that we're not completely alone in a world gone mad.

"Dave Barry is one funny human."--San Francisco ExaminerFor thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. Deep down inside, guys are extremely shallow.But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them. If you're a guy--or if you're attempting to share a remote control with one--you need this book, because it deals frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as: Scratching The role of guys in world history, including the heretofore-unknown relationship between the discovery of North America and golf Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series, but not necessarily the names of all his children The Noogie Gene Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher Method Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a prostate And much, much more"Whether you're a guy--or attempting to share a bathroom with one--Barry has some wacky words of wisdom for you."--USA Today

In this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Pulitzer Prize winner Barry takes readers on a class trip to Washington, D.C., where Wyatt and his friends try to stay out of danger and out of the doghouse while trying to save the president from attack--or maybe not. not.

When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey, Barry wrote.Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs, too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world's worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett.

Now in paperback from the Pulitzer Prize winner, the hilarious New York Times-bestselling exploration of what generations can teach one another-or not. During the course of his life, Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom, and he is eager to pass it on. Among other brilliant, brand-new pieces, Dave shares home truths with his new grandson and his daughter Sophie; explores the hometown of his youth, where all the parents seemed to be having un-Mad Men-like fun; and dives into firsthand accounts of the soccer craziness of Brazil and the just plain crazy craziness of Vladimir Putin's Russia.