Bøger af Keith Blenman

Dear Mama, I'm not dead. Sorry for the deception. I never died in that fire. I've spent the past several years travelling with an immortal monster hunter named Gus. He's a crude alcoholic with no regard for humanity. I'd even say he's worse than the creatures we kill. Anyway, I'm just writing because, if one day, my body is found and you're contacted, I need you to promise that you'll cremate me immediately. I hope all is well.Love, Millie

A magic potion may spoil; its intended effects lost to time. The power of a potion, however, never fades. It contorts, deforms, and mutates, often leading to something monstrous. Thus tragedy befalls Zellin Percour, a young woman tricked into drinking an expired love potion. Now, transformed into an abomination, she's rampaging her way toward the town of Sleeping Bear, hellbent on finding the man who deceived her.Horace is enjoying his quiet life. He loves his wife, his children, and his shop in Sleeping Bear. He's grateful that his violent past is buried deeper than the bodies left in his wake. But when a fool leads disaster to his door, he must revive his lethal talents or risk losing everything.Griever wields a weapon of untold power. She's also only two feet tall. This makes her both the deadliest and most easily overlooked bounty hunter in the world. She's caught the scent of her hero, legendary pirate Lorenzo Blade, and is eager to discover if the man lives up to his myth. Her trail leads her to Sleeping Bear, where she's about to discover all manner of hell lying beneath the surface.

In 1914, Modernist pioneer Gertrude Stein published the original Tender Buttons, a Cubist work of art that has been equally celebrated, lauded, puzzled over, and on at least one occasion thrown across a room in pure frustration. Possibly. Of course today we know that true success is only found when something grand (or something that happens to be a cartoon from the 1980s) is given unnecessary sequel after sequel, a line of action figures, and multiple websites for fans and trolls alike to argue and threaten violence upon one another with. It's in such spirit that we proudly present this high calorie fast food meal. Because if it was a book nobody would touch it. So come one! Come all! Step right up and feast upon this irreverent tale of the grammar police as they battle their way through a hostage situation unlike any the world has ever known! Chock full of surprises, twists, punctuation, words in various arrangements, and the sort of name dropping Hemmingway would point out as, "Wait? Why I am I being quoted here. I never said this."

Dear Mama, Gus came into my life several years ago. During my final year of college, I was abducted by a vampire. To say the big oaf saved me from certain doom is an overstatement, but that's how we met. Honestly, I have a tough time thinking about it. Between the kidnapping and all the carnage that followed, I changed. A lot. That was the first time I died. That was the night everything fell apart. Love, Millie

From the haunting world of The Vecris comes a tale of revenge unlike any other. Set several years before the events of the award winning novel, Necromantica, Whisper chronicles a night in the life of Mornia, the necromancer. A fallen king stirs in his grave. Awakened by the necromancer who assassinated him, Lector Ara is told of a plot against his family, and is given the chance to save his kingdom.

Dear Mama, I first met The Boss when I was preyed upon by vampires. Yes, actual vampires. I'd like to say Gus saved me, but he pretty much ruined my life. He did get me to go to church though. So that's something.Love, Millie

Keith Blenman returns with his second collection of offbeat short fiction. From the misadventure of a delightfully deceptive statistical engineer to a sidesplitting deal with Death, these stories will definitely leave you thinking. What about? Well, we don't know. But thinking will be done. Happy thoughts. Sad thoughts. Oh yes, your mind will wander in so many tangled and loopy directions; we can't even begin to describe them. But they're loopy. So loopy in fact, you may want to lie down. But first, crack this bad boy to the first page and get ready for the occasionally dark, typically bizarre and always entertaining tales from the faulty mind of an author who screams best seller! No, really. He literally screams it. Honestly. He's screaming it in repetition while holding us hostage as we proofread his back cover. Please, just buy Faulty Wiring and recommend it to a friend. Maybe if it sells he'll actually let us go. Please, there's no time. Save us before he decides to write again. Dear God, why haven't you put this in your shopping cart yet? Lives are in the balance! Help us! Set us free! Buy this book!