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Brilliantly funny, teenage angst author Louise Rennison's first audiobook about the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson. There are six things very wrong with my life:1. I have one of those under-the-skin spots that will never come to a head but lurk in a red way for the next two years. 2. It is on my nose. 3. I have a three-year-old sister who may have peed somewhere in my room. 4. In fourteen days the summer hols will be over and then it will be back to Stalag 14 and Oberfuhrer Frau Simpson and her bunch of sadistic 'teachers'. 5. I am very ugly and need to go into an ugly home. 6. I went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive. Follow Georgia's hilarious antics as she tries to overcome the dilemma's that are weighing up against her, and muddle her way through teenage life and all that it entails: how to replace accidentally shaved-off eyebrows; how to cope with Angus, her small labrador-sized Scottish wildcat; her first kiss with Peter - afterwards known as Whelk Boy; annoying teachers; unsympathetic friends and family, and how to entice Robbie the Sex God! Phew - she's really got her work cut out!
Wow. This is it. This is me growing up. On my own, going to Performing Arts College. This is good-bye, Tallulah, you long, gangly thing, and hellooooo, Lullah, star of stage.Tallulah Casey is ready to find her inner artist. And some new mates. And maybe a boy or two or three. The ticket to achieving these lofty goals? Enrolling in a summer performing arts program, of course. She's bound for the wilds of Yorkshire Daleseerily similar to the windswept moors of Wuthering Heights. Tallulah expects new friends, less parental interference, and lots of drama. Acting? Tights? Moors? Check, check, check.What she doesn't expect is feeling like a tiny bat's barging around in her mouth when she has her first snog.Bestselling author Louise Rennison returns with her trademark wit, a hilarious new cast, and a brand-new cheeky heroine who is poised to discover plenty of opportunities for (mis)adventure!
Time to gird the loins and pucker up.Blimey O'Reilly's trousers! When Georgia embraced being the girlfriend of a Rock Legend/Luurve God, she thought that was the end of her lovenosity woes. As usual, Georgia is the last to know what she is talking about. Now there's the small matter of a snogging accident involving her matey-type mate Dave the Laugh and some toasted newts in her undercrackers. Can Georgia lock up her red bottom and throw away the key?
The nub and gist is that I have accidentally acquired two Luuurve Gods. Oh my giddy god! Georgia has somehow landed back in the cakeshop of agony now that Robbie the Sex God has returned and she has three potential snoggees. What's a proper girl to do? Hide, of course, and hope that she will be able to choose one before she ends up all aloney on her owney.
On the rack of romance. And also in the oven of luuurve.Woe is Georgia: Dave the Laugh has declared his love for her (at least she thinks he was talking about her), and she has finally given Masimo an ultimatum to be her one and only and he has to think about it. And will she ever be able to stop thinking about the Sex God plucking his guitar strings of loveosity?
Let the overseas snogfest begin!Georgia and Jas are off to Hamburger-a-gogo land! Georgia plans to track down Masimo, the Italian-American dreamboat, but after a long week in America, she only succeeds in learning importantish things -- like how to ride a bucking bronco. Will Georgia reel in the Italian dreamboat? Or is she destined to live forever all aloney on her owney?
The Sex God has left the country, taking Georgia's heart with him. So she decides to display glaciosity to all boys -- a girl can only have her heart broken so many times.Until she meets Masimo, the new singer for the Stiff Dylans. The Sex God is gone, but here comes the Dreamboat, and Georgia's away laughing on a fast camel (whatever that means).
Georgia thought she had put her "red-bottomosity" to rest when she finally chose Robbie the Sex God over Dave the Laugh. Anyway, Dave the Laugh is now dating her friend Ellen (which didn't stop Georgia from snogging him at a party...)But when Dave breaks up with Ellen and the Sex God is never around, Georgia doesn't know what to do! As always, in Georgia's life, nothing ever turns out as planned!
Georgia Nicolson is now the girlfriend of the Sex God (aka Robbie), and things are wonderful. Except her loony parents are dragging her off to Och Aye land (aka Scotland), and the Sex God's band's chance at a record contract has left her something of a "pop widow."Then up rears temptation in the form of old flame Dave the Laugh. Is Georgia about to become a shameless vixen?
Angus: My mixed-breed cat, half domestic tabby, half Scottish wildcat. The size of a small Labrador, only mad.Thongs: Stupid underwear. What's the point of them, anyway? They just go up your bum, as far as I can tell.Full-Frontal Snogging: Kissing with all the trimmings, lip to lip, open mouth, tongues ... everything.Her dad's got the mentality of a Teletubby (only not so developed). Her cat, Angus, is trying to eat the poodle next door. And her best friend thinks she looks like an alien -- just because she accidentally shaved off her eyebrows. Ergghhhlack. Still, add a little boy-stalking, teacher-baiting, and full-frontal snogging with a Sex God, and Georgia's year just might turn out to be the most fabbitty fab fab ever!
Sound the Cosmic Horn for bestselling author Louise Rennison's tenth book of confessions from crazy but loveable teenager Georgia Nicolson!It's the FINAL instalment of Georgia's fab and hilarious diary!Does Georgia escape the cakeshop of luuurve?Can there be more heartbreaknosity in store?Will the Sex God pop up again unexpectedly (oo-er)!And what about the supreme accidental snogmaster Dave the Laugh?Will she FINALLY choose her only one and only?
Brilliantly funny, teenage angst author Louise Rennison's fifth book about the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson. Louise is a star on the HarperCollins teenage list.11.20 a.m.This is my fabulous life: the Sex God left for Whakatane last month and he has taken my heart with him.11.25 a.m.Not literally of course otherwise there would be a big hole in my nunga-nungas.11.28 a.m.And also I would be dead. Which quite frankly would be a blessing in disguise.12.00 p.m.It is soooo boring being brokenhearted......but Georgia doesn't remain brokenhearted for long: frequent snogging extravaganzas with old flame, Dave the Laugh, and the arrival of jelloid-knee-inducing Italian Stallion, Masimo, mean that Georgia has her work cut out to be the composed sex-kitten that she aspires to be.Follow Georgia's hilarious antics as she desperately muddles her way through teenage life and all that it entails: make-up disasters, rapidly expanding nunga-nungas, school - urgh, unsympathetic friends, highly embarrassing family (and pets) and, of course, BOYS.
READ BY LOUISE RENNISON. Brilliantly funny, Louise Rennison's fabby third audiobook download on the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson. Jas said, "e;Well, what happened?"e;And I said, "e;Well, it was beyond marvy. We talked and snogged and then he made me a sandwich and we snogged and then he played me a record and then we snogged."e;"e;So it was like..."e;"e;Yeah... a snogging fest."e;"e;Sacre bleu!"e;Jas looked like she was thinking which is a) unusual and b) scary. I said, "e;But then this weird thing happened. He had his hands on my waist, standing behind me."e;"e;Oo-er..."e;"e;D-accord. Anyway, I turned round and he sort of leaped out of the way like two short leaping things."e;"e;Was he dancing?"e;"e;No... I think he was frightened of being knocked out by my nunga-nungas..."e;Then we both laughed like loons on loon tablets (i.e. A LOT).
Brilliantly funny, teenage angst author Louise Rennison's second book about the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson. Louise is an international bestselling author and her books can't fail to make you laugh out loud.What is the matter with my life? Why is it so deeply unfab?* It's a day and a half now since I snogged the Sex God...* I think I have snog withdrawal. My lips keep puckering up...* I tried snogging the back of my hand, but it's no good...* It's been over a week. I wonder if it's my nose...* I have a HUGE nose that means I have to live for ever in the Ugly Home.
Winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize 2010 - The first book in the hilarious series from the original Queen of Teen. You'll laugh your tights off . . .
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