Bøger af Max Thompson

People, you need help. Truly you do. You bring home these cute little balls of fur and squeal with delight over how cute it is, declare your life to have Complete Meaning, and then get upset when your new Life's Purpose poops in the sink. You need to know the rules. You need to know the truth. Max "The Psychokitty" Thompson, a renowned expert on All Things Kitty, has decided to share the breadth of his wisdom and the depth of his knowledge garnered through many in-depth discussion with kitties online. This is his gift to you, the people owned by cats. Agift that will cost you less than $15...because that's how generous he is.

The Emperor and Prince Andrew have launched Ozoo Enterprises and are ready to open the warehouse where work on the computer systems that might run Elysium is about to begin. Will also has a side project of his own: a personal transporter, one that will allow him to manipulate space--sending people hundreds of miles with the tap of a keyboard--and circumvent time, opening the possibility not only for time travel on earth, but beyond. Hyrum Munson is settling into his new post-continental-walk life in San Francisco with his sister and brother-in-law, the Queen and King of Pacifica. He's happier than he's ever been and loves his new routine--except, perhaps, having to learn fractions--but he's upset over losing the one thing that matters the most to him, and is obsessing over where he left it. When Hyrum confesses to Wick that the thing he treasures most in the world is in his lost wallet, Will and Drew decide to put the transporter to a good test, and go in search of it. They follow Hyrum across the continent in a series of jumps, looking for the moment when he drops his beloved wallet, and discover there's far more to Hyrum and the thread of time that binds them together than they ever considered possible.

Midlam is at war. The lives of the royal heirs are on the line. The First Minister of Florida wants Kansas, and wants Prince Andrew dead. The Queen of Pacifica's deepest secret is revealed. Oz is abducted, and Drew will stop at nothing to find her. Fearing for the lives of the royal heirs, the Emperor takes them into hiding. He wants to protect them, but also wants to prepare them for battle. He trains them into finely honed athletes, not realizing that the time when they'll need to test their strength is closing in on them. When Oz goes missing, Drew, Zed, and the Emperor set out to walk across Colorado and Kansas during winter and war, a journey that will propel the Emperor to become William Blackshear, and will bring him closer to the man who, if they get to Oz in time, will become the other half of Ozoo.

Hyrum Munson spent two years walking across Florida and Midlam for one reason: to deliver a message to his sister, the Queen of Pacifica: Daddy wants to kill Red and the Prince. He has no way of knowing that the war has been over nearly as long as he's been walking, or that Levi is long dead; he certainly has no way of knowing that his oldest brother is losing control over Florida's governing Quorum and nuclear war is looming. Hyrum, an eight-year-old boy stuffed into the body of a 43-year-old man, only wants two things: to be good, and to remain in Pacifica. As Pacifica balances on the brink of nuclear war, Hyrum is stuck in the middle. If he goes home, he makes his mother happy and lives eternally as a little boy grown old, feared by his family. If he stays, he distances himself from the shadow of a life of abuse and has a chance at happiness.Wick watches it unfolding, the people he loves forming a tight circle around Hyrum, the joy and wonder of his personality, and wants to know why his own family so afraid of him. The answer, he comes to see, is electrifying.

Pacifica 2415 As told by Wick, Royal Cat, House of Blackshear On a plaza at the edge of downtown San Francisco, Finn--arriving with a broken down, burned out egg-shaped ship--steps out of a time portal and is found by teen royals Oz and Drew. With no memory of who or from which When he is, Finn becomes a puzzle that time-traveler Oz wants to solve, with the help of Drew, a cat named Wick, and the extremely touch-phobic Emperor. As they come closer to the answers Finn needs, Oz realizes that the question isn't who Finn might be and When he's from, but it's about who the Emperor is--he saved her father's life when he was a boy, but no one knows where he came from, or why he refuses to touch or be touched. Oz has described him as an icon of the city and protector of all, but now she wonders: where did he come from, and who is the Emperor, really?

Max Thompson is a feline life coach, dispensing advice on his Ask Max Monday column every week at Mousebreath Magazine. A notable author, this is his debut in poetry--poems written for cats and the people over whom they rule.

"Epistle" is Max Thompson's answer to the question of what he would say to his kitten self if he had a chance. And a lot of it? Stuff he wants to say to you, too. Stuff people ask him about. Stuff that he needed to get out of his head. It's a love letter to himself...and perhaps a few people out there, too.

He's a pioneer of cat blogging and channels his inner Ann Landers every week in his advice column for mousbreath! magazine, and is the author of three popular books; this is the book his fans and minions have been waiting for: the memoirs of Max Thompson. Bite Me is a book that will have you laughing out loud, will have you crying until your nose runs, and will have you wondering out loud, "Am I really reading the autobiography of a cat?" Yes. Yes, you are. This is the book Max's readers have been asking for-from the moment the Younger Human brought him home, through the tortures of the M-Word, lving with a dog, and then with Basement Kitty Buddah-this is Max Thompson's memoirs, in his own words. Sort of.

Wick knows he's old. It's his memory that upsets him. Hovering somewhere around 120 years old, he can't remember large chunks of his life: he'd already forgotten life before living with Jax and only remembered when the transponder planted in his brain was activated. But now, with Will happily married and expecting his first child with Aisha, Wick realizes he needs to know where he came from and how he began. In the Return to the Wick Chronicles, Wick remembers an important detail: a boy named Tad who had, in another lifetime, fed and cared for Wick when he was struggling to survive on his own. With few details to go on--a U.S. President hung in effigy and men lighting suckers on fire--Will thinks he knows the first When to visit and takes Wick on a journey to find Tad, find himself, and learn how he came to be.

Just a bit of mischief, that's all it will take. Now that Will is happily navigating married life and enjoying being a step-parent, Wick decides it's time for there to be a Little Emperor. He has two goals: make Will realize that procreating is something he wants, and then make sure he knows he's ready for it. He tests Will's patience through several visits to his birth When, over the holidays, and at Oz and Drew's wedding--there was a fly, after all. Just as he's certain Will is as ready as he is, a sect of The Cult of the Emperor reaches across the centuries to beat him to the punch, throwing in his way a strawberry blonde roadblock that could change everything. While he works at convincing Will of what he surely wants, Wick accompanies him on several trips through time. They take Jay to visit George, the arbiter of Will's worst childhood nightmares and bring Oz and Drew and Zed along to explore a slice of 2616. They celebrate Aubrey's 50th birthday in Will's birth When. And just as Wick thinks he's about to win, Will is dragged into court for a case he can't win--not without the unlikeliest of help given to him two hundred years in the future.

Fresh from a time-travel date gone very wrong, Wick reminds the Emperor: the woman he was currently holding hands with had warned him--if she survived the battle with wizards and elves, she was murdering his virginity. Time to pay up, dude. And while Wick prefers to ignore the intimacies in human relationships, he isn't sure Will can handle the things that Aisha will expect from him and feels responsible for making sure Will doesn't fall off and break a hip.Wick acts as guardian of their new relationship, but standing in Will's way is his mother, who is adamant that he's courting disaster and risking that Aisha will hear every private thought he's ever had, and on the sideline is Aisha's seventeen year old son, Jimmy, who has a monumental secret of his own that takes them to the When of Will's natural life--and nothing prepares Will for how deeply he identifies with Aisha's son, and how closely entwined their childhood nightmares are.

Look. I'm funny. You like me. And if you buy my book, I earn cash towards fresh cat nip and crunchy treats. It's as simple as that... But if you need more: This is the diary of Max Thompson, blogger extraordinaire. Thousands of people (maybe hundreds) flock to his blog every day to be amused an enlightened by his feline wisdom. Plus, it's the follow up to "The Psychokitty Speaks Out: Diary of a Mad Housecat" so you know it's good. Some people even though it was FUNNIER. But you don't have to read that one first. Oh, and I have a potty mouth. So you're warned.

He's 14 pounds of sleek black and white glory. With an attitude...and opinions...on everything. The PsychoKitty Speaks Out is the diary of Max, a put-upon and under appreciated domestic feline with both a disdain and fondness for Sticky Little People, an addiction to Kitty Crack, and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. He muses about everyday life, from his frustrations over not having opposable thumbs to the delight of things that stink inside his Peoples' noses.

Drew knows there are two rules to using the time portals. One, be precise in thought. Two, never visit the future.On his second practice run, a stray thought of wanting to see life 1000 years in the future lands him, along with Oz, the Emperor, Aisha, and Wick in 3416. San Francisco is in ruins. The Embarcadero is gone, the Bay Bridge is a broken skeleton, and the city has been overtaken by a dark wizard named Tobias. The only one who can destroy his power and his hold over the elfin citizens of Saint Francis is a clumsy, sword-wielding fifteen-year-old boy, the wizard Hagar and his fading magic, and the Trident--warriors of time long past who will stand beside the Lord of Prophecy.Hagar knows their names and declares them as the Trident, prompting Will to agree to indulge Oz and Drew's curiosity and stay long enough to understand the truth of how Hagar knows who they are. He could not foresee the horse-sized cat named Fluffy, the infant dragon named Jeff, or the truth about Tobias.As he puts the pieces of the puzzle together, Will realizes the fight isn't just to free the elves; it's a battle Oz needs to see to the bitter end, and he'll risk them all to get her there.

The King is tired. He's itching to abdicate in favor of becoming a beach bum. He needs time off before his abuse of the Queen's Bad Word List invites her ire. When the crash of an air car on Union Square propels one of the Guard to force him through a portal, he has the chance to take a few days in Will's birth When to relax, recoup...and hunt the man who tormented his daughter. Jax wants the dark wizard of Saint Francis dead, and neither Drew nor Wick understands why the Emperor is willing to accommodate his desire to kill someone. Still, going into Saint Francis means time with Shivan, Jeff the Dragon, and Fluffy the Giant Cat, so they follow, pulling along a junior reporter whose quiet confusion and usefulness is questionable, and hope that before the wizard is dead that someone tells them why Jax is so willing to kill, and why neither the Emperor nor the Queen has any intention of stopping him.

Rhys Blackshear is surely his father's son: they share many of the same gifts, and Rhys not only resembles him strongly, but has his physical strength and intellectual prowess. At ¿fteen, he's insatiably curious and more than anything wants to ¿nd a way to bring the simulated citizens of Saint Francis out into the real world-a desire that counters laws forbidding advanced arti¿cial intelligence.Hyrum, his uncle and best friend, just wants Rhys to be happy. On a mopey day, he convinces Rhys to go outside to have an adventure-eating all the foods they shouldn't and riding Hyrum's treasured red bicycle with shiny new passenger pegs-when a mishap sends them out of control down a major hill at high speed, and lands them in a completely different When, inexplicably in a new location.It's there they meet a much younger Aisha and Emperor-Rhys's future parents-and discover that not only are they not at all close to reconciling, she's so angry with the Emperor that he may never have a chance to close the distance between them...and if that never happens, Rhys won't be born in this When, nor any other future When.Rhys has no idea how he, Hyrum, and Wick landed in Las Vegas, and he doesn't know how to bridge the gap between disparate Whens. He especially has no idea how to convince Aisha to forgive the Emperor, nor how to help him ¿ght for the woman he loves.His new want: to be born again, to become one of the recycled souls that greet each new When, and despite all of time to play with, he has no idea how to get home, nor how to ¿x any of it.