Grief and Hope

Losing someone dear is never easy. If you're trying to see through tears into a future that seems unbearable even to look toward, I've thought of you as I've written this book. I've lived long enough, thought deeply enough, and tried to minister to enough grieving people that I've become wary of easy answers. But I do believe that the Scriptures provide help in moving through grief to hope. This book is intended for people who have suffered the loss of a loved one and are grieving that loss. The book will also be helpful to ministers who are called to prepare messages for memorial services. We may wonder why we feel grief, and the answer is simple. We grieve because we love. We feel grief when we lose someone we loved. That's diagnosis, which is a start. But that thought may not help us much when we are living-really, only going through the motions of living-with grief. What we are wondering as we grieve is what we are going to do without that person so dear to us. Grief is about lamenting one's loss. That includes lamenting one's loss of the future for which one had hoped.But it's important that we do more than lament our loss. We need not stop lamenting the loss, but at some point we need to do more than lament. Moving forward in life-again-in spite of our loss means forging a new future. How soon we are ready for this varies from person to person and situation to situation. No one can say how long that time should take. But sooner or later, one must begin to think about and move toward a new future.This new future does not mean abandoning the grief one feels as one moves toward it. Your loss will be forever a part of your life to one degree or another. So, moving toward this new future does not mean "getting over" your grief. Rather, to forge this new future means gaining insight into that grief and moving forward with it toward a greater sense of hope. Forging this new future is about seeking to come to terms with what to do now and next. The intent of the book is to connect the resources of faith to the troubling, disturbing, numbing, and maybe even terrifying experience of grief. May the thoughts of this book help you with your grief and enable you to find a measure of hope again even in the midst of your deep grief.