How to Marry Your Single Dad Neighbor

I guess I'm a mother now?
What do you do when your next-door neighbor's daughter, who you probably shouldn't be talking to about your fantasy romance books, hands you a guide and asks you to marry her father? Apparently, social disaster that you are, you do it.
If I told little me that I was going to grow up and get marriage-of-convenienced to someone who can't even make eye contact with me, I probably would have been all for it. Honestly. Let's just say the book trope addiction started young and hasn't stopped yet.
As a quiet indie author, I have one online friend and my nine-year-old next-door neighbor buddy. My trust issues, fear of rejection, less-than-optimal childhood, and pitiful communication skills do not leave me with the best toolbox when it comes to becoming a fake wife or mother in order to keep my little buddy safe.
But, hey, like most of the main characters I write about, you do what you have to for the people you care for. Let this story begin.
How to Marry Your Single Dad Neighbor is an acquainted in real life satirical romance with plenty of social ineptitude and plenty of book love. Each book in this series has sensual description that is ultimately closed door/fade to black, minimal cursing if any at all, and a swoon-worthy love story. Please reference the reader expectations after the title page for specific details.