Nothing Happens In The Grave

Nothing happens in the grave. You may take this statement to be empty, until you visit a grave yard. Don't just drive by a grave yard. Drive in to the grave yard. Park your car, and just walk around. You will hear a deafening sound........silence. The sound of fallen dreams. The sound of unran marathons. Unflown planes. Unfinished exams. Uncertified titles. Unsigned licenses. The sound of unaccomplished dreams. Apart from being a Reverend and a Librarian, I knew my mother wanted to become a Professor. She had a Master's in Library Science, but that wasn't enough for her. She was so eloquent, she could have taught English, Philosophy or even Theology/Divinity.........effortlessly. She was born to teach. She was a very dedicated Pastor's wife. She was a Women's Leader. She was a Mother. But as I sat down by her bedside for 6 weeks before she died, as she and I took purview of what could have been, I saw that for 69 years, she was everything but herself. She had just lived for all these titles bestowed on her. My mother died without becoming the woman she wanted to be. A Professor!!! It may seem like a small dream or totally out of sync as compared to being a Bishop's wife, but this was who she didn't get to be. I wish I can tell you that she tucked that dream somewhere close to her heart to probably one day bring it out like a hidden handkerchief in harmattan season, but she threw the dream away. She literally tossed it aside and SETTLED for what she thought was all she could be, A Pastor's Wife. A retired Librarian. A Co-Pastor. As I stared at her groaning in pain one day, I said to myself, "OMENESA, THIS IS HOW IT ENDS. It ends in the grave. It ends untouched. It ends undone." I watched cancer shave off her dreams. I watched pain rape her desires. I watched other people's agendas become hers. I watched her die, literally. That's when I made up my mind, to accomplish my dreams, while I still can, irrespective of who, what, when and how. So help me God!!!