Pits, Privates & Feet

Briskly mix PAVONIA FASHION MAGAZINE and ATELIER PIEDI FAVOLOSO (an elegant Italian family business) along with a soupçon of MORTEM and POST (a private detective agency). Spice up with difficult, top fashion designer CYRIL CRISTAL. Add a dash of VESTAL VERONA, a highly temperamental not-quite-all-she-seems super model. The result - a delicious potpourri of unexpected happenings: some wild, some wonderful, some decidedly over-the-top and some unreservedly weird.
Add a soupçon of an unpredictable kissogram along with a sprinkling of East End "bovver" and leave to simmer.
Serve with a piquant sauce flavoured with a series of madcap events which take place in a drying up Venice (as opposed to the traditionally sinking one), a creepy, conniving Cape Town, and a Machiavellian-imbued London.
Additional side "extras" include a wannabe Annie Oakley, and a sultry femme fatale named PETRONELLA who - aided and abetted by endless love and hisses - weaves a spell extraordinaire.
After a first, tentative taste of PITS, PRIVATES, & FEET, the greedy gourmet will undoubtedly do an Oliver Twist and ask for more