The Sand Grit in the Oyster that Makes the Pearl: Marriage and Buddhism

At the age of 60, and after 25 years of being a single parent with a professional career as a feminist film theorist, a Distinguished Professor Emerita of Art History, Patricia began an unexpected relationship with a very successful, charismatic business man-- soon resigning her position at the University and moving to Northern California. With Jonathan and her two Cairn Terriers. Although she was a seasoned Siddha Yoga meditator, with a beloved Guru, she was unprepared for the havoc a relationship could trigger. To learn how to live harmoniously, 24/7, with another became her life's work. Thus began her exploration of Buddhist teachings about the emotions, and our reactions to other's emotions. This is the sand grit of the title, the pain of reactions which Patricia openly reveals. It is also the pearl -- for the result, a loving and supportive partnership in old age, is priceless, a treasure. "The sharp rocks are truly jewels." This book encapsulates the teachings of this scholar's favorite writers -- and takes us on a journey throughout Asia, travels which trace the historical spread of Buddhism in the world. As exotic as this itinerary, the distance she and Jonathan go, from their old reactive patterns to their loving tranquil hearts, is much greater. And it took the great virtues -- tolerance, patience, acceptance and above all, compassion, humility, and hard work. The real stars of this journey are Pema Chodron, Stephen Batchelor, Ayya Khema, Thich Nhat Hanh, an many other Buddhist teachers/scholars who have traveled the treacherous terrain of their emotions and reported back to us their contemporary solutions to ancient problems. Their words are preserved as sacred jewels, in lengthy quotations.