Employee Relations Nursery Rhymes

Employee Relations is fun! At least that's what people who have never done the work think. People who don't do Employee Relations for a living think it is "easy" and "common sense." But nothing is further from the truth. Fact is, it can be downright grueling. Why, you ask? Because you are dealing with people, and people are complex beings full of feelings, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, nuances, quirks, etc. And if you have ever worked with people, then you know it is not for the faint of heart. So fun is not a word I would use to describe Employee Relations; more like funny.
In this line of work, you are forced to deal with all sorts of shenanigans and tomfoolery that have no business in the workplace. Situations that leave you scratching your head and asking, "Why did they think that was a good idea?" Matters that, quite frankly, closely resemble what you would witness in grade school. If you work in Employee Relations, you know exactly what I'm talking about and are probably thinking, "Amen!" If you don't work in Employee Relations, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. (In my whispering voice) We often get together during happy hour and swap stories just to decompress from the ridiculousness we encounter on a regular basis. And you probably have been featured in one of the stories.
In consideration of the above, I've crafted a collection of witty Employee Relations experiences into oddly analogous nursery rhymes. I hope you find them relatable and informative, and I hope the laughter you experience upon reading them is contagious.